Like… what the fuck? Danny Boyle has been known to make good films. You’re working with the catalogue of the Beatles, they have some, I dunno, pretty good songs. But what resulted is an absolutely jarring mess of shitty covers, bad acting, bad direction, weird editing, weird dialogue… I honestly feel like I did a bunch of drugs before watching this movie, and not in a fun way. I haven’t felt this bemused and upset by a film since I did a bunch of ketamine watching Fear and Loathing and thought I was watching the movie from inside the TV.

This is a movie about Beatles music that has more screen time for Ed sheeran and his music than the fucking Beatles. They even manage to shoehorn in the despicable black hole of talent that is James Cordern. The whole time I was expecting a cameo from a living beatle (because if anyone can get a beatle, it would be the director who did the opening of the Olympic Games after all), and at one point they tease it but don’t do it! Instead they perform a travesty by having some dude that, admittedly, looks a lot like an old John Lennon, show up. In this dogshit movie. The surviving Beatles probably didn’t want to attach their names to this absolute turd.

I’m not even a huge Beatles fan. I think they have a bunch of good songs but are somewhat overrated. And even I feel like this does a disservice to their music, and it’s just on the whole a terrible movie. There’s so many Dutch angles I started to think the cinematographer had an inner ear disorder.

Has anyone else seen this? Am I completely off kilter? I thought this movie was dog shit from the first 90 seconds, how does this exist?!