Joke of the day

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

  • 💤💤💤@monyet.cc
    7·
    2 years ago

    Beneath the moon’s glow,

    There a girl with mischievous charm,

    A fox’s spirit within her soul,

    She hummed a tune, a magical psalm.

  • weecious@monyet.cc
    61·
    2 years ago

    Almost committed a crime. I finished my lunch, got up and walked away. Only halfway through did i realise my oversight.

    Ran as fast as I can back to the stall and apologised to the kakak. She said that there’s no need to trouble myself, I can always transfer money to her. Perks of a loyal customer.

  • Naomikho@monyet.cc
    5·
    2 years ago

    Someone already built a python API for lemmy!

    I think the Lemmy community will be expanding really fast, really soon. I work with .NET C#, but I used to work with python in uni(altho I was the frontend guy) so combined with the knowledge j can get from the other Lemmy bot repository that someone else shared, maybe I can eventually make a bot for our community 🤔

    • dcx@monyet.cc
      3·
      2 years ago

      Open offer: If anyone writes a script that uses this API to do something useful for monyet.cc, and you can pack it up as a cronjob + python file, we’d be happy to host it for you!

      Please get it working and stable on your own machine before handing it to us though. Since this is untrusted python code we have to review your script manually, and I don’t want to be doing a million little code reviews…

  • unhedged@monyet.cc
    4·
    2 years ago

    Do you remember the story “Robinson Crusoe”? I don’t see it nowadays but I remember reading condensed children’s versions when I was a kid.

    It’s about a guy named Robinson who became stranded on a deserted island, and he has to survive off the land with what little he salvaged from the ship’s wreck before it got smashed by the waves.

    Later Robinson finds that there are occasional cannibal tribesmen on the island, and they sometimes butcher up their prisoners during their feasts. He manages to free one prisoner, who then becomes his loyal servant and assistant. He teaches the ex-prisoner English, and the guy also converts to Christianity. (this book was written in a different era, when Europeans were all about civilizing other peoples with their superior culture and religion). As Robinson first had met this prisoner on a Friday, thus he was named Friday.

    Both men were strong and muscular from the work of making a living off the land. Life was difficult as they had few tools for farming and fishing, and the island was not particularly bountiful in resources. While the story does not mention Friday’s emotional condition, Robinson became a devout Christian as he was thankful to God for his survival and having everything he needs.

    However, one missing element was glaring- intimate human companionship. In that era, it was pretty much taboo to be pleasured on equal footing with a less “civilised” person, so even if Robinson was so inclined to men, his cultural background would prevent him from seeing Friday as a peer worthy of rodding him.

    Nontheless, things happen in the quiet nights under the watchful stars. An accidental touch, a prolonged contact. Robinson and Friday end up in a strange working relationship where they don’t actually lust for each other, but they kind of help each other in achieving certain pleasures. For Robinson, Friday was like a human fleshlight whom he uses to recount some of his favorite memories. While Friday’s desires and emotional depths are hard to comprehend (he is, after all, an ESL student), Robinson does his best to return the favours.

    And thus on most weeks, Friday would come before Thursday.

    For the serious folk, the actual story is mostly accurate up to the break line. Then it all goes to hell…

  • Naomikho@monyet.cc
    3·
    2 years ago

    I should sleep before I start getting headaches at work again but I don’t want to sleep ;_; I still want to do so many things that isn’t my main job

  • lemmyin@monyet.cc
    31·
    2 years ago

    do y’all still wear masks when out and about? I like that I don’t have to deal with overzealous nose hair every two days with it on

    • imaginelizard@monyet.ccOPM
      31·
      2 years ago

      Slowly phasing out right now. I don’t wear them as often outdoors if there aren’t a lot of people, but I still wear them when it’s crowded or indoors.

    • Annoyed_🦀 @monyet.cc
      2·
      2 years ago

      Only when crowded indoor space like mall or something, otherwise i don’t wear it anymore as i’m always i place with good ventilation or with no crowd.

    • Naomikho@monyet.cc
      31·
      2 years ago

      It has really become a habit for me that I sometimes continue to wear masks in the car(I wear masks for long hours at work, so I’m pretty used to it) and my family/friends will question why I’m still wearing a mask 😂

      • katabana@monyet.cc
        1·
        2 years ago

        I have apermanent white, thick strand in my right nostril. Pluck it, ad it will regrew again in a few weeks.

    • unhedged@monyet.cc
      1·
      2 years ago

      do y’all still wear masks when out and about?

      At indoor spaces with strangers yes. But if we’re eating together later, then don’t need to bother cos we’re going to disrobe and breathe each other’s air shortly anyway.

      I like that I don’t have to deal with overzealous nose hair every two days with it on

      My nose hairs don’t poke out but they tend to span the gap and poke the opposite nostril wall, kind of self tickling. It’s annoying as hell.

  • Naomikho@monyet.cc
    2·
    2 years ago

    Mods, how did you guys set the daily jokes in the daily chat threads on Reddit? Did the bot allow you to set it every day, or do you guys run some prepared script?

    Who do I ping here ;_;

  • frieslovingvampire@monyet.cc
    1·
    2 years ago

    Would i be the asshole if i remove someone from my yt family without telling them and that someone is a friend whom i’m distancing myself. And if it’s relevant, they’re not paying for it sooo…

  • Sync@monyet.cc
    1·
    2 years ago

    I’m starting to like lemmy. Browsing this, lemmy.world and one more site. Pretty cool.

  • ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc
    21·
    2 years ago

    Idea for malicious compliance back at spezland: Turn the subreddit into one where you may only talk about people or place named Malaysia (yes there are a few). This one will alienate almost the entire extant community there so maybe one not to be enacted, it just can’t stand on its own. I just wanted to put it into words here.

  • cendawanita@kbin.social
    1·
    2 years ago

    I buka topik here: https://kbin.social/m/kbinMeta/t/73476/How-do-kbin-instances-and-all-aggregator-protocols-work-to

    Because there’s a big risk vector on small instances if the news about FB joining federation is real. I’m already hearing speculation that Eugen (Masto guy) met with FB because FB is planning to throw money at instances like his so federating with FB will not kantoikan his servers with traffic. Speculation because with NDA signed no one is saying anything publicly.

    So 1-2 punch rn, between reddit being what it is and everyone else is still getting their bearings and Zuckerberg making moves.

      • cendawanita@kbin.social
        1·
        2 years ago

        @Annoyed_Crabby we don’t know the full details yet on how (i did share on cafe about 2 days ago what details we have like the proposed instance name) but short answer is yes. Details indicate that it’s going to be a bridge for its Instagram side where it exports to a (likely) Masto instance. And Fedi accounts can follow there. And from there, well, it spiders outwards… Once they get boosted, then which instance picks it up etc. And because how masto works on the backend every change propagates down and upline. That’s how u can accidentally DDoS small instances and webhosts if something gets too popular (it’s happened, and that’s with pre-reddit population size, lol)

        @imaginelizard