I had to pay the trash company to take an old couch. They sent over a special truck that ate that sofa bed in seconds and all that was left on the road were some wood splinters. That was when I knew how I wanted to be disposed of after I die.
I’ve always said to dump me in a ditch somewhere, I’m not gonna care, I’ll be dead. If anybody pays for an expensive ass coffin for me, I will come back and haunt their ass.
Burial Pod baby: https://8billiontrees.com/eco-friendly-natural-products/tree-pod-burial/
I would have liked a sky burial or something.
This is basically what I want done, composting and then burial under a redwood sapling. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_composting
My plan, if I live old enough to be facing debilitating age-related illness is to organize all my assets to be distributed beforehand, then hike out into the middle of a dense forest where I cant possibly be found, dig a shallow pit to lie in, and die there by whatever means tickles me at the time.
There are no large predators where I live, so Id just be slowly dissected by the ants and the beetles.
Bene Gesserit burials in “Chapterhouse” sound like it: dig a vertical hole, put the body in with (presumably) biodegradable wrapping, plant a tree on it.
I’ve said the same thing,same reasoning, but my wife and kids lost their minds when I suggested it. I even suggested planting a tree so they could have a place to consider “me” to be,no dice. So good luck to you and everyone else concerned with saving money or hassle out there.
You basically just rephrased multiple scenes with Frank in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia…
“I mean, I don’t give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What’s the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You’re dead, you’re dead! Oh shit! Is my mic on?”
or another episode: “When I die, just throw me in the trash!”
Just thought it was funny to find people mirroring Frank Reynolds in real life… although I always pretty much agreed with him. I’m more concerned with how traumatizing it’d be for my family to see me in a ditch, and/or being filled with cream.
Your body is a resource. Don’t throw it away or bury it, give it to a gothy craftsman in exchange for half the jewelry made from it going to your family. It literally triples your chances of acquiring haunting privileges.
Now this sounds rather fancy lot, good sir!
A reminder to everyone that Costco sells caskets: https://www.costco.com/funeral-caskets.html
And every funeral home legally has to allow you to purchase the casket elsewhere per the FTC: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule (That doc also has a lot of other useful tips in it.)
I was a funeral director. People rarely provide their own caskets even if they have the legal right to. Nobody wants to manage the purchase and delivery of an expensive product right after their loved one has died. Funeral homes will also make it difficult by requiring delivery at certain times, inspection by the purchaser at time of delivery, and requiring the purchaser also get liability insurance on the casket.
Can’t have the casket failing and killing the occupant. /s
More like falling apart while someone else is carrying your dead ass. Could you imagine poor uncle ted having his little toe smashed by a corner when a handle rips off… Or a lid lock that doesn’t work and it springs open when they dropped you and now nanna can see your bum since funeral homes generally dress the remains but cutting the backs of the clothing open so it can all be slipped on from the front and don’t have to roll you over… But you did when you flopped out like a fish.
I love the fact that there is star ratings for the caskets, like did the person who passed away come back to life to rate the casket out of 5 starts and then pass away again.
Nice try Costco. Your casket sales are down and now the guerilla marketing starts.
Even knowing the crazy shit that happens when your body is “donated for science” I still want it. It would be neat for some weirdo to have my skull on their shelf, or get dissected in front of an audience.
Now that I think about it, I should sell off my body parts like a Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition #75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
I don’t care if some psychopathic med student uses my body as a puppet while doing a silly voice. I don’t care if they play Weekend at Bernies with it. That prick will be saving lives soon enough, that’s all that matters. When I disrespectfully dissected a fetal pig in high school bio, I still learned something.
I want this too. I saw a documentary about a dying man who took this option. They interviewed him about the decision, then after his death filmed medical students dissecting him (from a distance, it was discreet) and interviewed them about the experience. They were grateful for his gift, and incredibly respectful when speaking about him.
The thing is, the inside of a body looks nothing like the nice tidy diagrams. It’s a mess in there! I’d like these kids to practise on dead me before they start cutting into live people.
What if they resurrect your brain in a jar and make you watch Justin Bieber videos all day?
I don’t believe in hell
Vacuum Desiccation is where the real money is! https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ferengi_death_ritual
Air frying is just a convection cremation, you know.
also free snacks for the mourning
saves a ton on catering
No need to wait for the next day, you can eat the night of!
In Edge runners, they were putting people’s cremated remains in stainless steel capsule, like a world’s worst kinder surprise. That struck me as being very plausible in the future.
My plan has always been to get cremated and then just bury my ashes somewhere with a little gravestone. No need for a container or anything, after a few years go ahead and bury someone else’s ashes in the same spot and either replace the headstone or figure out a way to stack em. Just have a running tally of names and dates for everyone buried in that plot.
My plan A was similar. Just get cremated and just be scattered around my parents graves. Just so "I’m around“. Plan b, viking funeral. Plan “c” is getting cramated, getting an half and ounce of ashes, putting it in resin keychains. Then during the memorial, “take a little piece of Bob with you.”, and hand out the keychains. Eventually, you are going to lose it, go back to my wife, because she probably has a box of leftover me somewhere.
I honestly prefer that.
I think there are worse kinder surprises.
Yea, what happens in SOMA fucks with me whenever i think about it.
Digitizing consciousness for use in simulations, and spun up and down in an isolated environment like they are some AWS service.
I told my wife that when I die, if she can, claim she doesn’t recognize the body so that the state has to dispose of me to save costs.
I love this so much lol.
I told my wife the same…repeatedly. We are Canadian though.
I want my remains to be scattered around wonderland. Also, no cremation
Canada’s Wonderland?
Yeah, strap my head to leviathan plz
Just fling me into a wood chipper, and point it at the ground in a field somewhere.
Failing that, I’ve always loved the idea of being strapped to a rocket and launched into space.
If all else fails, I’d like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok.
If all else fails, I’d like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok
Complete with ~Bear McCreary~ “Raeb” playing his hurdy-gurdy?
Of course, ideally it’d be Bear McCreary, but I’d settle for my wife learning to play it.
Funeral homes will try to guilt trip you to go for the most expensive options by saying it will be the last thing you can do for your loved ones.
The last thing I do for them will be to pull the plug most likely. After they dead it’s whatever.
Am I the only one that thinks a Viking burial with a raft cobbled together out of logs and stuff by my loved ones would be awesome?
Burning rafts don’t get hot enough to cremate a corpse, it’ll just scorch you and dump your body in the lake to wash up on shore and terrify children.
Is that what happened in actual viking burials?
Surely there’s some way you could make it hot enough
Seems like actual viking burials were…burials…I’m no expert but skimming a few Google search results makes it seem like the burning ship thing never really happened, or at least rarely. Most vikings were ritually buried with weapons, grave goods and sacrifices. The burning boat thing is a Hollywood invention from a Thor myth maybe? Anyway this is why it’s not allowed in most places, you’d need a professional to administer it with as you say a specially constructed ship designed to fully create a body. Your family can’t tie together some logs and burn you themselves. So we’re right back to an expensive funeral industry, but now we get to witness the cremations outdoors so maybe a win.
Exactly… Why is this not an option? It needs to be.
Right? Feel like the building of the raft would be a good way for people to process, wouldn’t be that expensive cause you’d just be using wood and rope instead of a coffin and burial service
I like the idea of having the entire family pool in money to get a single, large, shared funerary urn. Dump my ashes in with my ancestors and give it a good stir.
Eww, I don’t want to be touching great-uncle Harvey!
Again…
☝️ This person gets it.
I too have thought about the family urn. Throw in the pet ashes too!
For when you need that last extra special grope of capitalism
