bell hooks talks about this in The Will to Change. Many women are still fully sold on patriarchal ideas, not as many as in the past, but women who are sold on the dominator model of relationships and the gender norms of patriarchy view having sex with men as a distinctly “feminine” act that’s unattractive for the idealized patriarchal masculine partner they want.
Often in my lectures when I use the phrase “imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy” to describe our nation’s political system, audiences laugh. No one has ever explained why accurately naming this system is funny. The laughter is itself a weapon of patriarchal terrorism. It functions as a disclaimer, discounting the significance of what is being named. It suggests that the words themselves are problematic and not the system they describe. I interpret this laughter as the audience’s way of showing discomfort with being asked to ally themselves with an antipatriarchal disobedient critique. This laughter reminds me that if I dare to challenge patriarchy openly, I risk not being taken seriously.
I highly recommend reading the book because right now is what you’re doing
Its really frustrating to me how few people are willing to seriously consider what they want from relationships and why. There are so many feminist identifying or adjacent women who never contend with the dissonance between their politics and relationships. There seem to be so few people who are actually trying to figure out what makes them, as an individual, happy in a relationship. It seems like they just look for the partner that will raise their social status the most, who isn’t too much of an asshole for them to handle, and hope for the best.
Kinda makes sense since a majority of women want a “manly man”, at least thats what I see happening IRL.
Does their head explode if they see a muscle bear?
bell hooks talks about this in The Will to Change. Many women are still fully sold on patriarchal ideas, not as many as in the past, but women who are sold on the dominator model of relationships and the gender norms of patriarchy view having sex with men as a distinctly “feminine” act that’s unattractive for the idealized patriarchal masculine partner they want.
I don’t feel that blaming the evil patriarchy again is the correct path here.
I highly recommend reading the book because right now
is what you’re doing
Its really frustrating to me how few people are willing to seriously consider what they want from relationships and why. There are so many feminist identifying or adjacent women who never contend with the dissonance between their politics and relationships. There seem to be so few people who are actually trying to figure out what makes them, as an individual, happy in a relationship. It seems like they just look for the partner that will raise their social status the most, who isn’t too much of an asshole for them to handle, and hope for the best.
its true my wife definitely chose the bear
i look like im wearing a sweater when im shirtless