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  • Neon_CarnivoreMEnglish
    5·
    7 months ago

    I wasn’t gonna say anything but now you have besmirched the good name of Pepsi, my preferred cola!

    I challenge thee! A salad steel cage match at dawn!

    • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
      5·
      7 months ago

      A salad steel cage match at dawn!

      So a loser has to eat salad match?

      It’s on! Ain’t no one gonna make me eat salad.

      And that’s the bottom line, because Coca Cola said so!

      • Neon_CarnivoreMEnglish
        5·
        7 months ago

        You know they say that all men colas are created equal, but you look at me Pepsi and you look at Samoa Joe Coca Cola and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler beverage drinker, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I’m a genetic Pepsi freak and I’m not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle Mountain Dew to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way at Sacrifice salad steel cage, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle Mountian Dew KNOWS he can’t beat me and he’s not even gonna try! So Samoa Joe Coca Cola, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice salad steel cage. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice salad steel cage. See Joe Coke, the numbers don’t lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice salad steel cage.

        • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
          4·
          7 months ago

          Oooh yeah, Hulk Hogan Pepsi, I remember way back when when the mega powers Cola Wars were bonded! Yeah! You made a lot of promises to the macho man Coke, didn’t ya. Promises that you didn’t keep!

          I remember one specific one, yeah, you promised that Elizabeth Dr. Pepper would never be in a dangerous position! You broke that promise didn’t you Hulk Hogan Pepsi! And who had to come in and make that critical save, The Macho Man Randy Savage Coca Cola, covering forHogan Pepsi again!

          Hulk Hogan Pepsi, I only come down to your matches when it’s absolutely necessary, when you’re down and out! That’s the kind of rules I play by, but you, you play by different rules, yeah. You gotta get in your grand standing and your hot dogging, yeah!

          I remember a time when I wrestled Akeem R.C Cola too, and the fact that I had Bossman Sprite in the outside of the ring just like you, the only difference is I was doing real good, yeah. I was stylin’ out there like a champion, yeah.

          But Guess who shows up for no reason at all! To get his grand standing and hot dogging in! You man, youHulk Hogan Pepsi, yeah! You just couldn’t stand to sit back with your feet up and watch the champion in action! Well look at this prima donna!

          Hulk Hogan Pepsi not only are you a hot dog, a grand stander, a showboat, and a primadonna, but you’re a liar too. In fact I remember a time where we stood in front of the man that does nothing but lie, Brother Love Mr Pibb, and you told some of the biggest lies that I’ve ever heard of in my whole life!

          That’s a lie Hulk HoganPepsi, and that’s enough to get me hot, but what you said to Elizabeth Dr. Pepper is enough to get me to the boiling point! Yeah!

          Hulk HoganPepsi you say you love Elizabeth Dr. Pepper, I got news for you man, yeah. I got news for you! Elizabeth Dr. Pepper is gonna be in the corner of The Macho Man Randy Savage Coca Cola at Wrestlemania 5 Salad Steel Cage, yeah!

          And let me tell you something, you say you love me like a brother, well listen to this Hulk Hogan Pepsi! I hate you, I hate your guts! And that’s what’s going to be left all over the mat afterWrestlemania 5 Salad Steel Cage!