I’m guessing the coroner doesn’t want to commit suicide next.

Fell down a elevator shaft onto a pile of arsenic laced bullets, clearly.

Which one?

The article is pretty lean on detail.

“Uh, yeah, um, totally a suicide. Yup.” said the coroner.

Is basically it.

Weirdly enough, the coroner bought a multi-million dollar house in Seattle and retired the next day.

“This is obviously a professional suicide.”

In other news, the same southern coroner ruled JFK’s death an apparent suicide.