Get better material, what am I even paying for?
They tell me to drink more fluids, but also to drink less beer???
what am i supposed to drink now that i’m too old to digest lactose properly and carbonated corn syrup drinks taste like shit?
“Two pots of coffee is too much” yawn
My doctor (who is some short guy’s wife, btw) keeps telling me I shouldn’t be “Irishing up” my coffee 7 days a week. I can only assume she’s pro English and doesn’t want to see Ireland re-unified.
Also, unrelated note, due to lactose intolerance issues, I’ve swapped out Baileys Irish Cream in my morning Irish coffee with absinthe.
Edit:
Here’s my daily Irish coffee recipe: 30mL espresso (decaf on weekends so I can fit an afternoon nap in), 60mL absinthe. Usually take 1 at 10:00 and another at 15:00. Usually double the espresso and the absinthe on a Monday, because Mondays, amirite?
When my mom died I got a migraine every day, so while waiting for the doctor I did the same but added orange juice since orange juice (especially the environmental disaster in a bottle kind) and absinthe is legit. Caffeine + alcohol means no migraine but all the pretty colors for me.
Open your windows more often.
… this is just what an owl would tell me, damn birds, git! Scram! :)
let me in
i know you have mice in there
I do feel this way sometimes. I wish the doctor would just say “there’s nothing I can do for you” instead of giving me advice that is simultaneously condescending and vague. I’m not making an appointment with a physician so that I can get a TikTok’s worth of uninspired life coaching. You assholes decided that your precious profession needed a monopoly on medicine while also artificially lowering the supply of doctors so that you could make more money and feel important. You turned yourselves into glorified pill dispensers because you don’t have time for anything else. Not my problem. If you want to make a living telling people to jog and eat kale then become a wellness guru on Instagram and leave the medicine to someone who wants to dispense pills.
I once went in to my [former] provider complaining of chronic repeated ear and sinus infections. I apparently didn’t yelp in pain loudly enough when PA Numbnuts started tapping on my sinus cavities, so he basically told me that I was just fat and needed to run around the mall at 4 AM with the local “mall walkers” group. Two days later, another ear/sinus infection hit and I needed antibiotics. I ended up getting them somewhere else because I didn’t want to deal with that pedantic asshole ever again. Six months later, yet another infection hit, this time with an abscess in one of my tonsils. I wound up in the emergency room for surgery. If only I’d waddled around the fucking mall at 4 AM, maybe all that extremely obvious damage to my tonsils from the repeated ear/nose/throat infections would have been magically healed.
What…no medicine? Communists.
never met a doctor that wasn’t a stuck up prick tbh. there must be lessons in med school about how everybody that’s not a doctor is a dumb baby who frequently forgets how to breathe
Death to America
You must be extremely unlucky, every doctor I’ve ever had has been either incredibly kind or just outright hilarious or both.
I’ve met a mix the specialty makes it better or worse too, some areas have a different character, for example family medicine tends to be more down to earth and there’s a reason a whole ton of fasc and chud leadership come out of other specialties esp surgeons. Never be more than one minority around those sorts, that’s how you’re fucked.
Second the statement, may it choke to death on the carcasses of all those it murdered.
