• Nate Cox@programming.dev
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    7 days ago

    I dislike the narrative that you can’t be happy as an adult. Yeah having nothing to do and no responsibilities was cool, but I would not trade what I have now to have it back.

    Adult me has an awesome wife and kids, good friends, hobbies that I wouldn’t have dreamed of as a kid, a tool bench full of fun power tools, and freedom to use my free time basically however I want.

    I am way happier as an adult than I was as a teenager.

    • kakes@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      I had a shitty childhood, was miserable in my teens, was possibly even more miserable through my 20s. When I was 16 I told myself if I was still as miserable by 30 I would consider ending it there.

      Fortunately around 30, after my low point of the pandemic, is where things started to actually fall into place for me - both in terms of external factors and, slowly, internal monologue.

      While I still have a lot of mental holdovers from all that time spent in a depressed state, I would generally say I’m sustainably “happy” these days. Something I genuinely thought I would never reach.

      To anyone in a bad place right now, just know that if you stick it out, life actually can be surprisingly worthwhile.

      • Nate Cox@programming.dev
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        7 days ago

        My dad always told me that life begins at 30.

        I turn 40 this year, and I really agree with him. The first three decades were just awkwardly fumbling around and getting nothing done because I was a dumbass. The last ten years I really got it together and I feel comfortable with myself for the first time ever.

      • saltesc@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        I was similar but I didn’t compare my life to others, so kind of just came to learn that this is normal life. I found it very beautiful and humbling. I treasure the days of being homeless and alone, so when I need to I just disappear by myself off into the wilderness somewhere for a few days. It feels safe and like home. I reflect on my stoicism and smile about knowing how much I can handle and how little in control I really am. Life is so cool like that.

        I see a post like OP’s and it’s just some unappreciative brat that’s never tried to see beauty in life. They just miss being looked after by someone else.

        • kakes@sh.itjust.works
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          7 days ago

          Yeesh that seems a bit harsh…

          You might want to use some of that self-reflection to examine why you feel that way about someone when you don’t know what kind of life they’ve had.

          • saltesc@lemmy.world
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            6 days ago

            They literally said their biggest concern in life was a history quiz… They are literally describing their life for the reader.

            I don’t think character length would fit the entire biography, so they’ve provided the important parts.

    • BrotherL0v3@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Hear, hear! Bigger problems nowadays, but more control over my life to compensate.

      There’s also something that’s really calming about having more life experience? Like back in 2013 I was mortified at the prospect of getting bad grades. Missing assignments was the #1 source of stress in my life, and it was all-consuming at the time.

      Now? I know not only did that not matter, but that any given thing that stresses me out that badly has a good chance of ultimately not mattering in the same way.

    • Yondoza@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      I listened to an interview with a woman who researched aging and spent time interviewing lots of elderly people. The majority of those interviewed called their 60s the best decade of their life. I also dislike the myth that your youth was your peak and it’s all downhill from there. There’s good in all times of your life, lean into the experiences that are available at the time and don’t worry about how good the past was or how the future might be worse.

      • kakes@sh.itjust.works
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        7 days ago

        They may have accounted for this, but I feel like that study would be disproportionately affected by wealth.

        Not to say I’m against your overall point, of course.

      • Cikos@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        do you have any info about what year when they’re in their 60s? i read similar research and concluded that its because it was the 90s

        • Yondoza@sh.itjust.works
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          6 days ago

          I do not. This was the interviewer’s experience through conversations, not a rigorous scientific study I think.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      I’m depressed as fuck but even I agree. At least I’m responsible for my own things now. The grind can be a bitch but I can invest in my hobbies.

    • jj4211@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      tool bench full of fun power tools

      More tools than you can count on your fingers, like 4 or so.

      • Nate Cox@programming.dev
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        6 days ago

        No way, I make my living typing; I am very very careful about this and I’ve been super successful. Only three fingers lost.

  • kromem@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Like the “nobody wants to work anymore” phrase, there’s a version of this post for pretty much every generation.

    The constant variables are the age of the author and audience with whom it resonates, not the specific changes between the two time periods.

    In 6-8 years or so we’ll see a new version about TikTok and late night sessions with ChatGPT doing your homework as the good ol’ days that have now been ruined by adulthood.

    People coming of age with the harsh realities of life will lament their loss of childhood until humanity’s final days.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      The constant variables are the age of the author and audience with whom it resonates, not the specific changes between the two time periods.

      People coming of age with the harsh realities of life will lament their loss of childhood until humanity’s final days.

      I agree with your sentiment, but a possible evolution is that “the happiest time of your life” has gradually pushed younger. Young adulthood used to be that sweets spot people would be nostalgic about. You had a low skill (and low expectation) job and a cheap apartment. You got paid decently and multiple pathways for upwards mobility were available. Marriage and home ownership were obvious futures for you in the years ahead. You had the freedom of adulthood to make your own choices, without having the weight of the entire rest of your life on your shoulders. Your friends were all in similar situations. Nostalgia was around drinking too much on a beach during sunset or around a campfire in the middle of a forest. Perhaps traveling to distant destinations for simple exploration and adventure in one friend’s clapped out (and paid off) car.

      Now, as in the meme posted, the “ideal” nostalgia is being under the umbrella of your parents. Your parents roof. Your parents money. You not able to make adult choices for yourself.

    • wensl@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      I suspect people view their childhood and/or late teens through rose colored glasses, they remember the isolated moments of joy without the surrounding context, I remember being stressed about exams, unsure about the future, unsure of even my own identity, plenty of other concerns, but sure I enjoyed a few sleepovers and gaming sessions with friends but when we’re remembering those days fondly it is from a safe perspective knowing all those concerns were resolved in a positive way, a survivorship bias, those that “failed at life”, became homelessness/suicide(drugs etc), aren’t here to reminisce with us all about the “simpler” times.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      6 days ago

      People are always determined to be unhappy. Of course there’s reasons to be unhappy about the state of the world today but it’s not as if 2015 was a gold period of human history either.

      On average things were definitely worse in the past. I would definitely not want to live in the 1950s for example.

      • BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee
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        5 days ago

        It’s not like it was fantastic back then, but i remember in 2016 people claimed it was the worst year ever and it will never get better, because some rich people died.

    • trafficnab@lemmy.ca
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      6 days ago

      until humanity’s final days.

      Damn those last kids, they’ll never know what we had to deal with!!

      • Fizz@lemmy.nz
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        6 days ago

        He was able to score perfectly having been alive during all the events.

      • jj4211@lemmy.world
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        He might not have had a history quiz, but it’s entirely likely least on occasion he still had a dream that he forgot to study for a history quiz, or forgot to go to a history class he signed up for all semester.

  • Skua@kbin.earth
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    7 days ago

    Damn, if the last time you were truly happy was just before your friend came round for a sleepover eleven years ago, that friend must have been a horrendous house guest

    • Honytawk
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      7 days ago

      “The house never was the same after … that night”

      Lightning crackles

  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    It 1,000,000 BC

    Ug just got new rock. Ug plays with rock.

    Ug friend Og comes to cave. He has clubs. Ug main concern is being eaten by dinosaurs.

    Ug didn’t realize that it would be the last time Ug was happy.

  • tiredofsametab@kbin.run
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    7 days ago

    We were very different ages in 2013, I think, heh. I got laid off from a job, sacrificed basically everything to try life in another country, failed to get a job and visa in time, and later wrapped it up by breaking my leg and ankle rather badly.

    • Alexstarfire@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Man, this post started off so well. The first line on my phone is “We were very different ages in 2013, I think, heh. I got laid” but things took a sharp turn starting on the next line.

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Breaking a leg is supposed to be good luck though so I’m sure everything turned out fine, right?

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        7 days ago

        Well, aside from the fact that I can’t run and sometimes simply walking is painful, I suppose it generally worked out well.

      • tiredofsametab@kbin.run
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        6 days ago

        USA and Japan. I had a company willing to sponser a visa, but they’d never done it before and it would take time. My stay was about up and I didn’t have the funds to vacation somewhere else and then come back to maybe get a job and visa. I would move back to Japan in late 2015 after recovering both physically (I spent 6 months+ in a wheelchair and another 6+ months on crutches before finally transitioning to varying levels of cane use for another roughly 6 months) and recovering financially. I’ve been in Japan since.

        • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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          6 days ago

          That sounds like you did a good job on your leg.

          Least you made it there. How you like it? How many hours a week you work? Made any friends with 100% Japanese people?

          • tiredofsametab@kbin.run
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            6 days ago

            Just like anywhere, it has good and bad points. Almost all of my friends are japanese as is my wife. I work 40 hours with some overtime here and there, but basically the same as the US (I’m a software engineer). I recently bought a farm and we live in the countryside so I’m trying to get all that sorted as well

            • Wanderer@lemm.ee
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              6 days ago

              Sounds good. I just heard bad things about the work hours and such.

              Would love yo go to the country though!

              • tiredofsametab@kbin.run
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                6 days ago

                Totally depends upon the company and its management. There is legislation in place to try to prevent things, but some workers will clock out and illegally continue working due to pressure which just perpetuates that shit cycle.

  • saltesc@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    “I was much happier when someone else was responsible for me. Now everything and everyone else are the reasons I am sad. No one understands how important this is.”

    • HobbitFoot @thelemmy.club
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      7 days ago

      Yeah. A lot of nostalgia gets wrapped up in not having responsibility and the cultural markers around that time.

    • jj4211@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      They didn’t claim no one else understands. Yes, it is because someone else was responsible, but the fact remains in the moment people who are so blessed lack the life experience to recognize the awesomeness of the state of things, resulting in “youth is wasted on the young”

      • frickineh@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Man, I was great at tests and history was my favorite subject. I’d love for a history quiz to be the thing I was worried about instead of like, the election and global warming and shit. Don’t get me wrong, you couldn’t pay me to go back to high school, but at least I could affect the outcome of a quiz, you know?

  • cobysev@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I remember when this meme was about the early '90s. I just turned 40 like a month ago. Now I just feel super old.

  • gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com
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    6 days ago

    I was made unemployed for about 5 months in 2013,relying on just my wife’s income and we burned through our savings. I was depressed and it was truly one of the worst years of my life.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Wonder what the pre/post climate change one will look like.

    Still had plentiful food. Power worked all the time and we had air conditioning. The theofascists hadn’t started their holy wars yet. Everyone was still alive.

    This was the last time we were happy.

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      5 days ago

      pre/post climate change

      the 1% will sell their condo on the beach and move into their air bnb in the mountains, while proceeding to buy up multiple other properties in the area, driving out the locals who can’t afford a house anymore.

  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Dude in 2013 I was working 60 hours a week in a factory that was >100 degrees laughing at the new guys who threw up and passed out because I didn’t realize how fucked up it all was

    The black forklift boss and the white production line boss had beef so the management arranged a time after hours for them to fight

    We got to watch these eggheads from Italy build the new robot production line that eventually took our jobs. Like, they were building right next to us and we got to keep our jobs so long as we were faster and broke less product. They called us the John Henry team

    Eveey day I went home and got blackout drunk. At home, because I couldn’t afford to go to a bar.

    It was not the best time of my life. Or anyone’s that I knew, for that matter.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    My 2013 was spent training the mexican replacements our company brought us for their new positions in the newly built plant in monterrey.