There ya go 😎 But for now I don’t have additional comments since I’ve given what I know. Maybe work your ay thriugh different classes.

If you wanna try on the mental side, look into Self-Therapy by Jay Earley (get the audiobook and do a chapter a day). To me, IFS is the gold standard of therapy but I make no claim to universal acclaim, altho it is getting more popular (with this wanderer anyway). Drugs are going to be the answer you seek because you probably have no standard for that which you are seeking to find or return to, emotionally and mental health wise