• FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Reaper, a USAF drone pilot, provides air support from a General Atomics MQ-9 Reaper to a US Army Delta Force team on the ground in the Philippines. After a mishap, Kinney, a young JTAC officer attached to the Delta Force team finds himself part of an extraction team relying only on Reaper’s remote air support.

    JFC it’s a movie lionizing fucking drone pilots and operators. Also they named him after the fucking drone, they couldn’t be even a little more creative?

    • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      It’s like if Felix really phoned in a satirical chud movie.

      “It’s about the most under appreciated of all operators, drone pilots”

    • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      I asked the horny minotaur to come up with a script:

      I challenge you to a battle of wits. Unless you are a coward of course. Let us both write a movie premise around the following idea. Whoever makes the more compelling film wins. A US Air Force drone pilot provides recon support to a Delta Force team trying to extract from the Philippines.

      Hmph, a battle of wits, you say? Very well, mortal! Prepare to be outmatched by the sheer brilliance of my movie premise.

      Title: “Eyes in the Sky”

      In a high-stakes military thriller, “Eyes in the Sky” follows the story of Captain Ethan Sullivan, a skilled and seasoned US Air Force drone pilot. Tasked with providing crucial reconnaissance support to a Delta Force team, he finds himself in the heart of the dense Philippine jungle.

      As the Delta Force team faces constant danger and obstacles, Captain Sullivan’s drone becomes their lifeline, navigating through treacherous terrains and pinpointing enemy positions. The tension escalates as they encounter a ruthless terrorist faction determined to prevent their extraction.

      Amidst the chaos, Captain Sullivan forms an unexpected bond with Maria, a local villager caught in the crossfire. Together, they uncover a web of political intrigue and corruption, revealing the true motives behind the mission.

      With heart-pounding action sequences, intense aerial battles, and a gripping story of sacrifice and redemption, “Eyes in the Sky” explores the moral implications of modern warfare and the blurred lines between heroism and duty.

      Now, mortal, let’s see what you can come up with. Can you match the intensity and depth of my movie premise?

      Literally sounds like a better movie.

  • blobjim [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    It’s like those Netflix movies that look like something that would be depicted as a movie inside a movie. The only non-white person in the main cast is half-Jamaican half-British Rickie Whittle (thought has last name was whitey)

    I like how 3 people on the poster prominently feature their bent muscular arm. That seems like a very prominent thing for “operator” goons. “I have enough muscles to hold up this big gun I’m going to pull the trigger of”.

    • GinAndJuche@hexbear.netOP
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      11 months ago

      It turns out the opposite of a navy seal is a twink who knows how to handle a firearm without flexing vanity muscles.

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      It’s especially funny because even with a bunch of doodads on there it still weighs less than a M1 Garand wielded by smol bean nazi killer Audie Murphy.

      • TraumaDumpling@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        yea, excess muscle is only a hindrance in war, the bigger your body the more chance a bullet will fragment instead of passing through, extra weight you carry on your feet/ankles/knee/back/heart, larger profile to be shot at, etc.

        like the muscle might make you better as an artillery team loader i guess but thats basically it. bullets kill you just as dead through muscle and upper body strength only really matters in melee combat which almost never happens in modern conflicts. you want just enough strength to carry and lift your shit long distances on foot and to drag your squadmates to the medic when they get shot.

        navy SEALS are like the only spec ops types that have a reputation for being musclebound meatheads, look at pictures of SFOD guys or any european spec ops and they all look like scrawny nerds with serial killer expressions

      • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        These are the two lesser Hemsworths. Chris is way too famous to be doing low budget direct-to-streaming schlock.

        edit: oh this is actually in theaters. but still

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          Still - something like this could have happened - his brothers could have told him to ask the producers to give him a million dollars for one line. In the contract it says that he does only one hour of work. And every hour over - he gets another million dollars.

          The producers get to put him on the poster and he gets literally a million dollars an hour. And the movie and his brand gets tons of free media when he jokes about it in the media - talk shows in particular.

  • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    fedposting “Boss, this writers’ strike is getting bad. How are we going to get our propaganda out without them hiding it by making it interesting, creative, and subtle?”

    cia “Eh, those nerds don’t do anything special, just film the outline we sent 'em and increase the Creatine you give the actors by…23%”

  • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Would have loved to be at the thanksgiving dinner table when Liam and Luke tried to talk Chris into putting his name on this pile of dogshit.

    No saying Chris Hemsworth is some moral paragon but whatever the professional equivalent of a fight or flight response must have kicked in.

    • GinAndJuche@hexbear.netOP
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      11 months ago

      There’s a chance this movie was made entirely for government money/ throwing a bone to local film industry

      Filming began in September 2022, running through November 2022 in the Gold Coast, Queensland.[5][6] The production took advantage of location incentives offered by the Australian government, bringing roughly 270 jobs to its local film industry.

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      My guess is a combo of releasing good movies to take advantage of the holiday season and not “wasting” them by releasing in the general New Year/Post Christmas spending slump. Release the slop when theatre attendance is at it lowest anyway and save the ones they’re banking on for more popular seasons. It’s also a little chicken and egg, is attendance low because shit movie releases or are shit movies released due to fewer people going to theatres?

      • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I reckon people would go to the theaters if there was something good worth watching. Regardless of the time of year.