This time of year is meant to be filled with joy and family get-togethers, but not everyone has family or anything to be happy about. So are you ok?

  • NickwithaC@lemmy.worldEnglish
    65·
    11 个月前

    Of course not. I’m a millennial on anti-depressants, working a zero-hours contract job with no hope of ever owning property in my lifetime, living in a developed country with solved problems but a populace too spiteful to ever implement the solutions.

  • vexikron
    461·
    11 个月前

    Nope, not ok.

    Doctors told me I have autism a year ago, I told my family, they thought I was delusional and insane and tried to force me into a mental asylum in the middle of nowhere.

    Got all my stuff, put it in my car… got mugged, car got stolen, spent a year homeless. Credit ruined, everything I have ever owned is gone, and the best part was all the rest of my friends and family either didnt believe me when I told them what was happening to me, thought I was insane… or were too busy to handle all my drama right now.

    At least I can write on lemmy I guess.

      • vexikron
        61·
        11 个月前

        Well, thanks!

        I would do a Go Fund Me or something like that but I am too worried they would find me.

    • Azzu@lemm.ee
      10·
      11 个月前

      How does it go from “the doctor’s tell me I have autism” to “you’re delusional and insane”? That can’t be the only thing that happened, I mean that you told your family?

      • vexikron
        201·
        11 个月前

        My father is a delusional QTard who believes that Tom Hanks’ son kills eats and rapes children for adrenochrome, believes that ANTIFA did Jan 6th, and took great pride in showing me where and how he assembles firearms without serial numbers. Also he drank and drove so much he had to have an interlock device on his car for 7 years.

        My brother, who I was living with, barely passed high school as he was spending all his time going to raves, doing so much MDMA/Ecstasy that he gave himself Serotonin Shock Syndrome, believes Shadow People are real, believes he can see peoples ‘auras’, was constantly pressuring me into doing hallucinogenic mushrooms, and believes it is funny to gaslight his schizoeffective girlfriend by telling her that everything that she did or said to him in the past 30 minutes /did not actually happen/, and then go ‘haha just kidding, love you babe smooch’

        My mother has a neurological disorder, spent her childhood doing any random drugs anyone would hand her on the street, and just generally speaking has the emotional and intellectual capacity of an 8 year old.

        I would go on but I think you get the idea.

        Quite literally by the time I was a preteen I was placed into an advanced education track at my middle school, and would come home to my entire family having insane emotional breakdowns and fights with each other all the time, and I actually just went online and to the library, learned basic psychology and would have to stop all their arguments via de escalation and leading group therapy sessions, basically everyday, until I gave up and just moved the family computer into my room and put headphones on.

        Took me 34 years and nearly dying many times now to realize my family has always been completely insane, and they are incapable of changing.

        • nomad@infosec.pub
          14·
          11 个月前

          This is not a healthy environment for neurotypical people. You are basically Matilda. ;) I hope you find a safe home and safe space and keep away from these people.

          • vexikron
            71·
            11 个月前

            Hah, Matilda, no one has ever called me that before. =)

            Yeah, I plan on never speaking to any of them ever again. I would prefer they think I am dead, as they are dead to me.

            Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:

            Autistic people are neurodiverse, as well as I think uh ADHD and schizoid types and i think there is one other major one.

            Normies are neurotypical, lol.

  • franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
    28·
    11 个月前

    Honestly, not really. I experienced something traumatic on Christmas eve of 2017 and have never completely recovered. I’ll probably never get back to where I was before that.

    It really used to be my favorite day of the year but now it’s just raw and awful and I have to keep up appearances so I’m not a miserable person to be around. I really don’t want to be that way, I’m generally a pretty easygoing, easy to get along with kinda guy so I hate the shift that I make.

    • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      102·
      11 个月前

      I’m sorry to hear. Have you tried talking to your family/friends about it? I’m sure they would be understanding and try to help you the way I wish I could.

      • franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
        12·
        11 个月前

        I’ve talked to some friends about it, but honestly it’s probably ground I need to tread with a therapist. I thought I had a good handle on it but this year has been particularly tough for some reason.

        Thank you, though, I appreciate the sentiment!

        • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          5·
          11 个月前

          Your welcome. If you can, please do see someone about it. It’s better to talk about it than to let it build.

          • franzfurdinand@lemmy.world
            6·
            11 个月前

            I’ve talked to a therapist in the past - not about this, but about the rest of the abuse that was heaped on me during that time. It did help some.

            You’re right, and it’s very similar advice my friends gave me. The hard part is finding the time and energy together to let me do it.

  • Match!!@pawb.socialEnglish
    24·
    11 个月前

    I’m actually doing really well (but I’m getting some survivor’s guilt from that)

  • UnHidden@lemmy.world
    22·
    11 个月前

    Sadly not. I still have no friends, and no one to talk to. I recently escaped from being literal forced labor for a gang, and am now trying to put life back together without telling my family.

    My family are all very catholic, and they’d want my head on a stick if they knew I was stuck working for a gang, despite it being against my will.

    Christmas is gonna be hard, because I’ll have to resist the urge to let out those emotions, as they’re the only people I talk to. Still looking for a good friend :(

    • UnHidden@lemmy.world
      9·
      11 个月前

      I don’t have a great relationship with my family, so it makes it even harder around christmas times. I’m a paranoid introvert in need of friends, and trust is hard to come by, so stress builds up until I freak out because I have no one to share any ideas or life stories with. No one to keep me level headed and make sure I’m okay, and no one for me to care about. Still looking for that one good friend to come along…

  • miz_elektro@lemmy.caEnglish
    21·
    11 个月前

    Just got the news last week that my dad, who was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in October, might have 5-7 months left. Plus my mom is slowly dying from COPD. I’m trying to stay positive and spend what might be the last Christmas we get with them. But to say I’m not feeling the happy new year vibes is an understatement. Only death and more depression coming in 2024.

    • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      10·
      11 个月前

      I’m sorry for you. Spend what time you have left with them, make memories, it’s better to have loved them than not at all. I wish you the best.

  • klemptor@startrek.website
    21·
    11 个月前

    I’m not OK. I’m not super un-OK, but this time of year puts me in a dark mood.

    I promise I’m not trying to be edgy in saying this, but I fucking HATE the holidays. Everybody puts so much pressure on things being a certain way, especially because it’s a religious holiday. I’m atheist, my mom is catholic, my dad is Jewish but agnostic, and my husband’s family is some sort of Protestant. I wish I could treat it like a secular holiday, but my mom wants me to go to mass with her, my MIL wants us all to sing carols (fucking why, life isn’t a Hallmark movie!), and a polite “no thanks” doesn’t cut it, so no matter what I do I’m disappointing someone. I’ve gotta negotiate with both sides as to whose house we’re visiting on each day, and I just don’t know… Every year the stress just gets to me, I can’t wait for the holidays to be over. I count down the days until the 26th. The cold weather and lack of sun don’t help either.

    Also. I just turned 42 this week. Every birthday I’ve ever had has been xmas-flavored - I can’t escape it even for one day. I have a labral tear and femoroacetabular impingement in my right hip which need to be fixed surgically and have been making it really hard to squat and deadlift. And despite being diligent with sun protection, my dermatologist removed yet another mole - this one came back as “moderately precancerous” and they need to do a larger excision. She also suggested I get laser treatments to remove a few age spots on my face. I feel like I’m too young for any of this shit.

    I just want a pause button.

    • blazeknave@lemmy.world
      6·
      11 个月前

      Fuck December. You’re a champion. This will suck but you’ll make it through. Look at all you’re already managing successfully. Just bc it’s not easy, doesn’t mean you’re not doing a fantastic job

        • blazeknave@lemmy.world
          3·
          11 个月前

          Takes a village! I’ve been fighting through a lot of darkness for many years now, with no end in sight for the struggle. Not even inner demon shit,really horrific life shit. I try to remember that we can’t always see the top of the mountain, but it’s there. And the only thing we can do is have faith that by always moving forward, however slowly, there is salvation at the summit. And if I die before that, fuck it, I won’t know :)

            • blazeknave@lemmy.world
              2·
              11 个月前

              Thanks! Good thing about the human condition and adaptation is you can normalize some pretty high levels of struggle to being mundane lol

    • hactar42@lemmy.world
      3·
      11 个月前

      I feel you on hating the holidays. I get so little time off of work that I just want to relax, but the expectations of the holidays make it near impossible. I have 4 siblings and they all have 2-3 kids and them and my mom always try to plan something for Christmas. The problem is we all live at least 4 hours away from each other. It is a logistical nightmare. This year I finally put my foot down and told my family I’m not doing that this year. I also told them not to get anything for my kids because honestly getting presents for 11 nieces and nephews is getting ridiculous. I even told my mom not to come visit because I just can’t deal with her histrionic personality disorder right now. Of course, I couldn’t put it that way, but to my surprise she actually listened for once.

      I do still have to deal with my wife’s family coming over, because apparently me saying I don’t want to do anything for Christmas means I’m find with doing Christmas stuff on December 23rd. However, beside my wife stressing about making our house completely spotless, her family coming over isn’t that bad. They will come over for like half a day and go home, and there is never any drama.

      Stay strong, the 26th is only a few days away.

      • klemptor@startrek.website
        2·
        11 个月前

        Oh man I sympathize so hard with you. Histrionic moms are the worst because they make everything about them. But good for you for putting your foot down! Hang in there dude.

  • Entropy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    19·
    11 个月前

    My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me on Sunday, she’s the love of my life (have known each other far longer than 2 years). We have a child together, I don’t know what to do about it.

    I’m trying to talk to her and discuss how we can work through it, I don’t know if it’s going to work.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me I guess?

    I also haven’t eaten or slept properly since, I’m starving but I can’t actually put food in my mouth.

    • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      12·
      11 个月前

      Firstly, you need to eat and sleep, you can’t solve anything if you don’t have the energy for it. Make it simple like some soup or chicken. Your girlfriend might need some space or time to think, be patient with her. At the very least, keep goog terms with her and agree to take care of the kid, even if you don’t live together.

      • Entropy@lemmy.worldEnglish
        9·
        11 个月前

        I’ve done all of this as best I can, but I’m struggling with the eating and sleeping. I’m doing my best though.

        • GeoGio7@lemmy.world
          4·
          11 个月前

          That sounds so tough man. You’re in my thoughts, I don’t know what else to say. I hope you get all the strength and happiness you need.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
      3·
      11 个月前

      Sometimes things just fall apart. Do you mourn her, or do you mourn her love more?

      If it’s her, then I hope you guys can work something it out.

      If you mourn her love, then I think you’re feeling the loss of a shared future you had planned together. This hurts hard, I know, but will get better with time once you realise that you mourn the idea of her. You can and will find that with someone else, and then she will just be your ex that you have fond memories with, who you see once a week to pick up the kids, whilst you build a new future with your new partner.

      • Entropy@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        11 个月前

        It’s her I miss, beyond any doubts. I’m fighting like hell to work something out, but also trying to give her some space, it’s difficult finding the right balance between the two.

  • golden_zealot@lemmy.mlEnglish
    18·
    2 个月前

    Fuck no, I have 4 years of industry experience and my industry is basically falling apart. I haven’t been able to find work since March. Even construction labour jobs requiring no experience wont call me back. If I cant make something work soon I might just decide to french kiss an electrical socket.

    Update:

    I found a job. It does not pay that well but its in my industry and there are great individual liberties that come with the job. It took 18 months, getting EI, running out of EI, and being forced to throw out/sell a bunch of my stuff and rent out my home to overcome this. If I were most other people without the support system I have available to me, I’d be fucking homeless. Fuck the status quo.

    • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      43·
      11 个月前

      Please don’t do that. I know it would be hard to, but maybe try looking for a different carrer path if you can. Just don’t give up, please.

      • golden_zealot@lemmy.mlEnglish
        13·
        11 个月前

        The horror isn’t in killing yourself, the horror is living in hell so that other people can feel good that you’re suffering instead of dead.

    • hactar42@lemmy.world
      11·
      11 个月前

      Unless you are in retail, this is the worst time of year for find work. Just wait until everyone gets back in the office after the new year and you should see a lot more opportunities and responses. Just hold on man.