WILMETTE, IL—Telling the child not to peek as they walked into the backyard, local wealthy man Kenneth Schweitz reportedly surprised his son Tuesday with a tree house that the young boy could Airbnb for passive income. “It’s time you got your own little space that can be rented out for short-term stays and used to…

WILMETTE, IL—Telling the child not to peek as they walked into the backyard, local wealthy man Kenneth Schweitz reportedly surprised his son Tuesday with a tree house that the young boy could Airbnb for passive income. “It’s time you got your own little space that can be rented out for short-term stays and used to produce a reliable revenue stream,” a visibly excited Schweitz said as he took his hands off his son’s eyes to reveal the fully appointed structure built into the tree’s branches, stressing to the boy that he would not have to do any real work for the lodging to generate substantial returns. “Your mom and I can help you decorate it, but then it’s all up to you to decide how much to charge per night and which cleaning service to hire, bud. After that, you can sit back and collect thousands of dollars a month. How cool is that? You and your little friends are going to have so much fun building your little real estate empire. Enjoy!” At press time, sources reported Schweitz’s son was enthusiastically climbing into the tree house to serve an eviction notice to the low-income family currently living there.

link: https://www.theonion.com/wealthy-dad-surprises-child-with-tree-house-he-can-airb-1851112919

  • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.socialEnglish
    21·
    10 months ago

    That kid is a future Self-Made Man™, working harder and intelligently taking advantage of opportunities that those poors are too stupid and lazy to jump on.

  • vexikronEnglish
    8·
    10 months ago

    And then 15 years from now, little Timmy Schweitz will be on all the magazines and all the talk shows telling us about how he started his…

    … uh sure why not…

    … his block buster franchise of combination teledildonic ‘best orgasm of your life guaranteed!’ / suicide booths…

    … all started when he taught himself architecture and engineering an mowed lawns all year during summer break at age 8 to build this luxury tree house and operate it as a landlord but technically not a landlord for ten years, securing his seed capital for his aforementioned franchise of ‘blow your load then blow your brains out’ booths.

    He will be adored by tens, hundreds of millions who will argue that he is saving the environment, the economy and the very stability of what remains of ‘civilization’ by ethically easing the passage of the unproductive into the afterlife.

    A true genius, a daring, stalwart man with humble beginnings, with a determination of steel, and the noblest of goals.

  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    10 months ago

    LOL quality onion always hitting to the heart how fucked up our capitalism-driven society is. I wonder how long it will take Daddy to realize he should build his son an actual treehouse to actually play in 😆