StewartCopelandsDad [he/him]

I have posting disease

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: May 24th, 2022

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  • edit: whoops I forgot about the incel conception of it, that if you’re friendly to a woman she’ll put you in the “unfuckable” box. Anyone who has dated a friend knows that just isn’t true lol.

    This is a struggle session tier controversial topic, but “friend zone” is what happens when

    (a) you don’t want to date someone, but are afraid to reject them completely. A lot of people soften the blow by saying “oh we can still be friends”, in the lying polite way you’d say “we should hang out more!” before never following up on it. Especially prevalent among women, because men are dangerous, and especially prevalent when you don’t want to rock the boat in a friend group. It’s actually quite difficult to be friends with an ex or failed romantic prospect even if both people genuinely do want to be friends; you have to manage strong emotions without being able to directly change them.

    (b) the rejected party either doesn’t understand or refuses to accept the rejection. Classically, this leads to men trying to “win over” women who don’t want them, and honestly probably don’t even want to be friends now that the dude is being weird about it, while thinly pretending to just be a good platonic friend. Let me get that door for you mlady.

    It’s totally legit to want to date someone but not be “just friends” with them. It sucks to lose a friend that way, it’s happened to me, but we’re all adults here and sometimes people have enough friends already or don’t want to be friends with you badly enough to deal with any additional heartache from working through those emotions.



  • This is liberal of me but degrowth is just not possible politically. It’s like how a general strike sign or Twitter post doesn’t do anything, because a general strike needs unions to help strikers stay fed and housed, but 100x worse. If you tell people that they can’t have a hot shower every day, because the energy required to heat the water of every person on earth would cook the earth too much, they will not give up hot showers. You cannot implement degrowth without coercion from a socialist state which, at best, gets legitimacy from most people saying “well I hate doing this, but the only way for the planet to survive is if we all sacrifice together”. Under capitalism it’s a nonstarter of course, people won’t even wear masks during a pandemic let alone make sacrifices. But there is not going to be a socialist state with this kind of power in the US for decades, if ever.

    You can probably get some half-assed solution where people accept things that nudge them in the direction of less consumption. Bikeable cities. Showers that turn off every few seconds, like the ones at campgrounds, to encourage you to use less hot water. But actual degrowth is so far from possible right now, in the complete absence of any ecosocialist power, that asking for it seems like putting the cart before the horse to me.

    It’s kind of like veganism. Some people are tenderhearted idealists like me, but if you look at a group of individuals they’re not going to give up eating flesh for anything immaterial. Can we get state pushed/mandated veganism? Well, not without a state. And we can’t rally around the final goal because by definition it’s not popular yet (otherwise we wouldn’t need a state to do it), so must start with other vegan goals. Curb the worst excesses of the climate criminals, build up a movement. Slow down growth. Then we can try to implement degrowth.

    I can’t rip on them too much because they’re out there doing shit and I’m in bed on my phone. But this is why I don’t like degrowth. Conceptually it’s ok.

    P.S. also it is basically full communism, in terms of how vigorously capital will oppose it. GDP is basically 1:1 with energy consumption