Today, I am thinking about myself. Actually, I am thinking a lot about my self.

I was laying in bed with my infant son, putting him to sleep and it was taking a long time. And the longer it took the more I just wanted him to sleep so I could Do Something Else.

The Rage comes from the back of my arms and crawls up my neck and to my upper back. It is a Feeling and it is utterly despicable…but it hurts and it comes from Not Getting What I Want–Big Baby.

So, in line with my recent thoughts, I decide to let the desire go. I decide to simply Not Be Frustrated.

And I am enjoying laying with my son, watching him wiggle, and listening to him proudly proclaim, “Big And Small Are Opp. O. Sites.”

Yes, they are, buddy.

However, The Rage is still there. It’s different now, it is no longer in my thoughts. But my neck hurts and my arms hurt and I can’t really say I’m feeling anything but pain. I am not frustrated with my son’s elongation of sleeptime, I am not let down with myself or guitly, I am not happy nor am I sad.

I am just in pain.

Then he goes to sleep. I kiss him. I pick him up and place him into his crib. What a sweet angel.

And The Rage had no reason to stay. I felt it recede from my neck and shoulders back down to my arms where it dissipated like cotton candy in street puddles.

If you are preparing, I think the worry might be Just Fine. But the sort of worry where, instead of Doing Shit, you Worry About Shit, is the sort of worry that prevents glories.

You have turn worries into glories. Worry is a symptom of belief in the world. It’s the shit that almost stopped Abraham from trying to kill his son on Mount Moriah.

He stopped worrying about it and tried to kill his son and, by doing so, set himself and his son free.

I’m thinking about a lot.

One, I’m broke again before payday. That was the negative that sort of bummed me out. But in line with what Bu has said about worry, I’m not going to worry about it.

I read an article about economics and inflation today. That shit reads like literal black magic. I can’t believe our society will say that Sigmund Freud is “pseudoscience” (or Carl Jung, for that matter) but “The Market” is a thing.

Seriously, read the wikipedia article for inflation. It references “liquidity traps”, “nominal wage rigidity”, and “reserve requirements”. I seriously don’t understand how that is quote-unquote More Real than “oedipus complex”, “anima/animus syzygy”, or “desire”.

This is Really Pissing Me Off Today.

We are so utterly lost as a civilization and its ok to be broke. No one is mad at me and, more importantly, I am doing My Best.

That’s what matters, and Solid Snake would agree.

I’ll spoil it because I immediately recognized it. This is a remake of one of the oldest threads on FFXIAH.com, the online forum and auction data tool for the Final Fantasy XI (online).

The thread has been up for like 10+ years and has 23k pages. It’s a living time capsule. VERY COOL.

this is really interesting. is it sort of like having two desktops at once? or is it purely aesthetic, like if you click where the links are when the fences are up, will they open?

I could talk about this so much. I mean, I spent an hour today doing the first gas mask necessary part. It was so exciting and there were no enemies. I just had to master the route to get through optimally. It was so freaking thrilling finding a gas mask, figuring out how to get through the cameras, finding the chaff grenades, and making it back before running out of oxygen. absolutely thrilling.

That’s exactly it. The fun is in coming up with plans and being in the moment. A thing about MGS compared to MG is that, in MG, it is easier to deal with alarm states. you can usually just run to an elevator pretty easily and that will reset the alarm.

the elevator might reset the alarms in MGS I’m not even sure because, in Solid, there aren’t preprogrammed screens like MG a’la Mega Man on NES type-stuff. So, whereas it is economical to run in MG, running to an elevator in Solid will probably kill you.

An alert in Solid really feels like a Game Over. I have survived a few alerts, but its much better to just figure out the stealth path.

This was nine years ago. I bet she’s even better, now!

what os is this

I can’t even find the quote in the script now!

This is a post in the community.

It’s me