if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don’t get defensive. just say like “sorry, i won’t do it again” and don’t argue “actually it’s gender neutral” or “i call everyone dude”. even if you do, i guarantee she’s heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
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It’s not that hard to be decent and respectful.
All it comes down to is owning up to it.
“Hey, I don’t like it when you call me that, so can you please not?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that again.”
vs.
“Hey, I don’t like it when you call me that, so can you please not?”
“Well, have you ever tried not getting offended when I call you that? You’re being too sensitive!”
Everyone has their own personal boundaries for comfort, even beyond things like gender. People just like to emphasize forgetting this principle for transgender people to show them as “crazies” and deny them their personhood due to their own hatred.
yeah. if you say ‘‘sorry, but i call everyone dude’’ (which i’ve seen several times) that isn’t an apology! just apologize for accidentally being rude and i guarantee everyone will be chill and you can move on
all californians will be sent to re-education for being irritating as fuck about this
Surfers:
Hawaiian surfers are absolute chads, the surfers in california just need some aloha spirit beat into their bones
I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been to any US state.
Good to know if I’m ever near Hawaii though.
Hawaii would be so awesome if we could kick out the Mormons and millionaires
“Gonna head down to the bar and fuck some dudes.”
- Straight men (apparently)
That way it’s not gay. It’s like wearing a purity ring.
a friend calls everyone dude, but they’re also super normal about it and check in with people to make sure they’re comfortable with the term and/or whether they have another they’d prefer
This is why I address everyone by saying “hey asshole(s)!”
The women I speak to about this all essentially boil down to “yeah I don’t like it but it’s so small I just ignore it” and I can feel hundreds of thousands of feminists turn in their graves each time I get that explanation.
Trans women are good for women for the simple fact that trans women absolutely do not accept all the tiny little things cis women have always just put up with due to a lifetime of it and not wanting their entire existence to always be conflict. Trans people don’t have a fucking choice, life is conflict, so fuck it, every little thing shall be fought.
Trans people don’t have a fucking choice, life is conflict, so fuck it, every little thing shall be fought.
unfortunately i know too many trans people that don’t feel like fighting and just give into it bc it’s easier to “seem normal” than it is to stand up for themselves. it sucks! (i’ve struggled in that way before too.)
im one of these bros who calls everyone dude… everyone except the couple transfem people who ask me not to… it costs me literally nothing and avoids hurting people I care about. Some people have no convictions apart from refusing the be normal decent people.
Funnily enough, I refer to my family as “stinky”. Maybe I should call everyone stinky.
oh shit oh fuck i call any plural group of people “guys” when im working and addressing multiple customers
when it’s a plural group of people i don’t think it’s as big a deal, but it would be good to find an alternative
Funny enough a plural group of people being addressed as “guys” or “dudes” is the original source of this discourse, because early feminists were annoyed by being implicitly excluded in the language of people at work and school
doing it to a group is implicitly excluding women, but doing it to a specific women is explicitly misgendering. personally i wish neither would happen, but when it’s the former it’s something that happens to cis women too, and while it sucks it’s not the worst thing in the world, whereas the latter feels really bad (to me, i understand if others feel differently)
“Folks” everytime?
We love it folks, we love it
Fuck, now you made me hate it.
we need an american version of “comrade”After living in the South I stole “y’all” and I’m not giving it back. No more “dudes”, “guys”, or even “folks”.
Y’all is good culture 😌
Why not “comrade”?
local rednecks would murder me and local libs would probably think im calling them putin shills
kind of lose lose
just start calling people comrades at work. people would probably find it funny
Got to play up a thick Russian accent when you say it too
Gals is gender neutral
– What’s up duuu–
– [disapproving glare]
– --uuudayeva. Dudayeva.
– …Did you just compare me to Alla Dudayeva, wife of Dzhokhar Dudayev, the first president of the Chechen Republic of Ichkeria?
– …Maybe?
I am an admitted “calls everyone dude”-er in person, but if someone asked me not to the only conceivable reaction for me is “understandable, have a good day and I will endeavor not to call you that in the future”
Also I was really confused by your last sentence and thought I had missed some discourse on someone referred to as “the word guy”
taken to calling people “gamer” or “gamers”
addressing any given group of people as “chat”
“women are my favorite guy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-OgkNgxm3k
i see and hear women call eachother “guys” and “dude” pretty regularly even when there are no men in the group so it’s not like my highschool spanish where the style guide used to be -os even if there was only one man. I don’t think it’s legitimate to argue that it’s always gendered without getting into microdialects, but neither does that invalidate someone being uncomfortable because sometimes it is still gendered and of course we need to respect them.
Language, especially English, is just too complicated for me. I’m at the “fuck it I’ll say whatever you want it makes no sense to me anyway” phase
All good, but you will take “buddy” from my cold dead hands
if someone feels buddy is a gendered term and doesn’t want to be called buddy don’t call them buddy! this isn’t that hard, this is like the kind of shit they teach you in preschool, together with sharing your toys and stacking blocks into a big tower
edit: reread your comment and realized it was probably a joke, but my point stands
