Happy pan visibility day! 🩷💛🩵
Due to some queer accounts on Instagram posting about celebrations of today, I had to get reminded that there are still some awful queer people focusing on discourse about that “bi vs. pan” shit.
There is a tendency for battle-axe bisexuals to state that “bisexual and pansexual mean the exact same thing” with the intent of equating the two because they want to invalidate anyone who identifies as pansexual instead of just identifying as bisexual, but I realized something… this is actually biphobic as hell, not bi-affirming like they think!
Of course, sexual orientation labels are neologisms for a person’s own comfort, so being linguistically prescriptivist about them at all is absolute nonsense that anyone who perpetuates this “bi vs. pan” shit doesn’t understand.
However, to illustrate my point coherently, a common definition of “pansexual” is a sexual orientation which entails not regarding gender in your attraction. If a battle-axe bisexual asserts something like “Well, bisexuality means not regarding gender too!”, then they are literally invalidating every fucking bisexual person that regards gender in their attraction (and there are tons of those). There are many bisexual people who will explicitly say that they regard gender.
To grasp at straws so hard to invalidate people who identify as pansexual that you’ll shit out a misconceived biphobic myth that invalidates numerous bisexual people is basically saying “being indirectly biphobic to own the goofy MOGAI pans.”
I identify as both bisexual and pansexual simultaneously, so every time this kind of discourse comes up, especially when people have the intent to put bisexuality and pansexuality as “at war” with each other makes me double facepalm.
No one should invalidate anyone’s identity. No one should invalidate their own personal interpretation of it. Pansexual people should respect how bisexual people identify themselves. Bisexual people should respect how pansexual people identify themselves. Everyone should just respect other people’s labels PERIOD!
Bottom line is that the LGBTQ+ community needs to get over label discourse and policing entirely. You’d think “respect people in how they personally identify” wouldn’t be a controversial take for queer people BUT… here we are.
Love all of my m-spec buddies, BTW!
It is very common for bisexuals to struggle with their identities because they feel attraction to masculinity and femininity in different amounts, frequencies, or ways. The concept of pansexuality is very useful to these people as a sort of exception that proves the rule. Bi people who try to erase the pan identities are extremely goofy, and I assume have never spoken to another bi person in real life.
As a pansexual person, I also get people who constantly ask me questions where they assume that I give two shits or even one shit about gender. To give a NSFW example…
NSFW Example
I’ve had sex with both men and women. I’ve had people ask me “Woah, which did you prefer?” and it’s got nothing to do with gender at all. There were some women I enjoyed having sex with more than men. There are some men I enjoyed having sex with more than women. I never looked at it from the perspective of “Wow, doing that with women was so much more fun!” or expressing that sentiment with men either. How I handle that kind of activity with people is dependent on so many factors, but gender is not one of them. It’s such a confusing question when people ask me that because it’s on a false premise, the premise that gender factors into how I handle sexual and romantic matters at all. It has zero to do with gender for me. Regardless of whether a bisexual person regards gender or not, these kinds of questions are cringe anyway, though.
There is a common tendency to gender everything, especially the context of romantic and sexual relationships. I take so much solace in the fact that pansexuality, as a label, allows me to clarify that I do not gender any aspect of my romantic and sexual interactions because, as a non-binary person, I’d be the first to know how frustrated I am with how frequently things get gendered for the wrong reasons or no good reason at all.
just wanna share that a question like that could be a badly phrased way of expressing a desire to learn about what they’re missing out on, or just get the juiciest info, without having putting much thought into the implications of the words they’re using.
Regardless of intentions, the premise of the question still is completely inapplicable to me. As long as gender has something to do with the question, this premise is inapplicable for me. If it wasn’t about gender, they wouldn’t phrase the question like something even close to that. How could one possibly misinterpret something like “Did you prefer doing it with men or women?” in a way that doesn’t have to do with gender?
How could one possibly misinterpret
“Do you prefer inserting a penis into a vagina?”
You did say misinterpret, but when cishet assumptions get in the mix, I think it’s plausible that this is what they really mean.
I just like the bi flag colors
Funnily enough, the pansexual flag is my favorite LGBTQ+ flag, as the MYC color scheme is so pleasing to my eyes, but since I identify with both labels, I get to proudly wave both flags! Yay!
I generally like the pan flag better, but it’s really hard to beat a gradient with the bi colors.
Yeah, red can blend into purple which blends into blue way better than magenta can blend into yellow which would blend into cyan.
It’s beautiful!
I’ve never heard the term “Battle Axe Bisexual” before, but it makes me think of something like Frank Frazetta style erotic fantasy art where scantily clad barbarians of all genders and races (including humans, dwarfs, elves, orcs, etc.) are getting down in a giant love pile in the middle of a dragon’s nest on a mountain top.
yeah I’m a battle axe bisexual (im bi and will use a battle axe on whoever disrespects pan comrades)
Speaking of battle axes I’ve always thought the lesbian flag with the labrys
was cooler than
Unfortunately it has some TERF-y associations but it should be reclaimed. Also purple represents “the lavender menace” concept.
Just like I think the pink triangle on black with its holocaust and AIDS crisis symbology is a better flag
Than
I never understood the weird discourse around the bi vs pan arguments. I spent way too many years of self loathing and confusion every time I hopped on the bicycle to ever give someone else a hard time for their attraction or identity preferences. I identify as bi because it makes the most sense for my preferences, but love who you love and fuck who you want(consensually) friends! 🩷💜💙
Happy pan visibility day! 🩷💛💙
battle-ax bisexual
BanBi
Who is making up these names?
Also, bit idea: Someone who is bi but not pan, i.e. attracted to men and women but not third-gender, agender, or in-between people.
ngl that sounds like it could get enbyphobic real easily (this might be tinted by the fact that people I’ve met with that attraction model are often, but not always, enbyphobic).
I agree with this, and I’m a pansexual non-binary person. A lot of people think that my pansexual identity (or pansexual identity as a whole) is rooted in signalling that I factor in non-binary people (or even trans people as a whole) in my attraction when this isn’t at all the reason why I identify as pansexual. I merely use the term “pansexual” to say I don’t regard gender into my preferences. I personally believe that it’s not weird for people of any sexual orientation (barring asexuality because aces do not experience sexual attraction), be them gay, straight, bi, or pan, to find non-binary people attractive because enbies are such a diverse and varied group of individuals and don’t have a set manifestation of their gender like people would envision binary men and women having. This means that saying something like “I’m not into non-binary people” could be rooted in a generalization or misunderstanding of enbies, but I wouldn’t be upset at someone saying that necessarily as long as they’re not explicitly enbyphobic in the process. These kinds of intricacies are exactly why I always say that you can’t conjure up prescriptive rulesets for sexual orientations, and it’s best to let people decide for themselves which label they vibe with the most from their own personal standpoint.
The joke is on those hypothetical (?) enbyphobes.
do you think being bi means not being attracted to nonbinary people???!!
No. The ultra-specificity is part of the bit.
Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
honestly i still dont get what your saying at all,like I know its a joke but it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to me. maybe the joke just isnt for me as a bisexual enby. no worries.
That’s such a weird argument on their part. Pansexual is a subtype of Bisexual, but the two are not equivalent labels, and to say they are is beyond bizarre.
It’s honestly the same energy as transmeds/enbyphobic trans people who say ambiguous shit like “Non-binary’ and ‘trans’ are different!”, but it’s in the opposite direction. Whereas the trans example tries to separate non-binary and trans people by using disingenuous phrasing equivalent to saying “Dogs and mammals are different!,” the “Pansexual and bisexual mean the same thing!” take does the same thing (invalidation) but with an opposite approach: conflating the labels for the sake of invalidating their differences as opposed to separating them for the sake of invalidating their similarities. I guess, in their case, the “Pansexual’ and ‘bisexual’ mean the same thing!” take would be analogous to saying “Golden retrievers and dogs are the same thing!”
However, in both instances, the words are very similar and fall under the same umbrella, but they have their own differences. Still, non-binary people are trans, just not binary trans, and still, pansexual people can have overlap with many bisexual people but, by definition, not all bisexual people fit being pansexual.
Lmao I thought it was the same thing but spawned from disagreements about flags
Honestly, that would be ideal because there would be much less foolishness if that were the case.
I’m bi or pan or something in that realm, but I’m not 100% sure I understand what you mean by “regard gender” (not meant to be dismissive quotes) or what it would look like to be bi and regard gender. Would that be like holding your attraction in separate spaces for different genders vs having a mostly similar experience of attraction regardless?
Clearly there is a larger context I’m not aware of. I’m aware of transphobic notions that bi excludes trans people somehow, and the push against it but that’s the depth of my awareness.
Edit: never mind, the wiki you linked answered my questions. I didn’t notice it on first read https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Multisexual
To give an example of what regarding gender as a bisexual person may manifest as, it can literally be as simple as something like “I prefer my men tall and my women short.” The difference is that, although into multiple genders, bisexual people who regard gender can have different manifestations of how they specifically find men attractive and how they specifically find women attractive. A pansexual person might not have this mentality, and if they were to convey a similar sentiment, they might say something like, “I like my masculine partners tall, and I like my feminine partners short.” Notice how there’s no emphasis on gender here, and not all bisexual people can relate to that kind of mentality, and that’s okay!
The thing is that labels are personal, and it’s up to the individual to describe for themselves how they interpret a label and its definitions. Some people literally pick whether they’re bi or pan based on flag alone, and that, once again, is totally valid.
I identify as both, and I see bisexuality and pansexuality a part of the same multisexual umbrella. Although I generally say “pansexual” as a single term if someone asks how I label my sexual orientation, I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to respond to a question that says something like, “Bisexual people, how did you explain bisexuality to your family?” to give an example.
Either way, we are in the same community. The oppressive structures that promote the notion that it’s only acceptable to find one gender attractive don’t care if you regard gender or not, but the infighting is still all pointless!
The last one is a good point. We’re all “gays” to them regardless.
I guess I’m not quite sure where exactly I fit in the multisexual spectrum.
I’m not saying anything of substance here I just thought an effort post deserved some kind of reply
In all honesty, there have been times when I’ve been confused what to call myself because I might find a person who identifies as with neither gender. All these years I’ve just called myself bisexual and put that thought away. It makes me still new to this, in the sense that I’ve never compared notes with others until quite recently. For example, I didn’t know some folks identify as both bi and pan until you just explained it just now.
I didn’t know some folks identify as both bi and pan until you just explained it just now.
This is so awkward for me because a lot of panphobes will think that every pansexual person identifies as pansexual as a mutually exclusive label that’s entirely distinct from bisexuality, so when they try to invalidate my pansexuality by saying stuff like “LMAO, you’re bisexual!”, I can only respond with:
There isn’t a reason why people can’t identify as both bisexual and pansexual. The fact that this divide exists to begin with, in which we have to have debate over whether or not it’s okay for both labels to even exist (deeply unserious discourse), is the reason why some people do it. They want to signal that they don’t have to be at odds with each other which is, in a sense, why I identify with both, but it’s a tad bit more complicated than that.
I find that the ways I interpret either label are both applicable to my sense of sexual orientation. If you define bisexuality as “attraction to more than one gender” (which many people do) and you define pansexuality as “attraction without regard to gender” (which many people do), then by definition, I am both, and I’m okay with saying that I’m both. Furthermore, people often interpret bisexuality as a “umbrella” term that encompasses pansexuality. Sexual orientation labels are all made up arbitrarily and they’re neologisms that aren’t as tangibly and commonly understood as words like “dog,” “cat,” and “table,” so I make sure to reject the absurd standards that linguistic prescriptivists put out.
In other words, fuck it all, identify whatever way makes you comfy! Just respect other people’s identities in the process.
I agree, this was a good explanation.
I know Pan is from Dragon Ball GT, but who is Bi?
I’m nonbinary, and bisexual, because it confused The Straights, and because Bi has longer a history to it, and I like that.
Honestly, back when I used to just say “I’m bisexual” just to simplify my sexuality for hets, there were so damn many of them who asked “What? How could you be non-binary AND bisexual?”, so I totally get this energy.
