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I wish I could leave my house without feeling intimidated by everyone I pass
CW: internal transphobia prolly
I live in constant fear of other people’s judgment
That men will think I am some gay weakling who should be made fun of or beat up
That women will think I am some gross fake whose attempts at femininity are pitiful and insulting
That children will be afraid of me for being a guy
That old people will think I am some removed corrupted youth
I am in this limbo where I fear being too feminine and not enough
Yeah, relatable…
content warning: descriptions of transphobic incidents in public, lamenting over the state of terf island, pretty doomery
And it doesn’t help when some random chud actually proves you right.
It’s been really getting worse and worse where I live. The amount of transphobic incidents in I’ve been put through in public reached its peak during the week leading up to the election here on terf island, but it hasn’t let up that much, and it wasn’t that much better before. It’s reached a point where every time I leave the house I expect something to happen, and 90% of the time, I’m proven that I was right to worry.
One time I’ll just be on a walk in a park when some guy starts pointing and laughing at me and then pulling the sleeve of his (I’m assuming) wife to show her the amusing person he just spotted. Another time I’ll get filmed on the train by a white woman traveling with her teenage daughter, using her rose gold iphone. Just a few days ago someone started yelling “he’s dangerous! he’s dangerous!” while I was waiting at a bus stop.
My pro strat is to play loud music on my earphones, don’t make eye contact with anyone and try my best to pretend nobody is hatecriming me right now while hoping that nobody will actually attempt physical violence. I feel completely pushed out of public space through these kind of behaviours from rando agent smiths and I don’t feel comfortable in any irl trans spaces because I’m too enby or I’m too autistic to actually feel comfortable there and I’m so so tired of trying.
Extremely isolating; this shit kills people, I really hope I can take it.
Sounds horrible, TERF Island is a nightmare.
Thank you
I’m moving there
I’m so sorry
spoiler
I have no idea how I’d be able to manage that.
I hope you can though
I literally mostly just stay inside, but it is really breaking me.
content warning: a little more terf island bullshit
All of this sucked extra hard when I was homeless and had to hide from pop-in landlords while staying at my friends’, which was already overcrowded and mouldy asf
I have already stayed inside for far too long
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That sounds awful. Death to landlords.
Me too sis
Fuck terf island
I’m sorry its like that where you are
me too
I’m not gonna lie, this is my primary motivation when I lift weights and practice kickboxing. I want to make sure that if anyone tries something, they’ll pay for it. I won’t let myself get gay bashed.
This route isn’t for everyone, but it makes me feel more confident when I’m presenting femme in public.
I don’t have any delusions I could beat someone up even if I worked out and trained.
Well, then consider going the true girl route. Lots of women are scared of men. Carry a taser or pepper spray.
Or learn to run fast lol
i saw a woman on tiktok recommend spray paint or wasp spray. much better at stopping assault than pepper spray
I doubt wasp spray would be useful, but spray paint would certainly blind. Probably best to use bear spray because it propels a long distance, usually around 30 feet. Though its honestly probably better to just get a self defense spray that sprays a longer distance.
Bear spray / long distance spray + run fast would be best option. Kite tactics
yeah the wasp spray was prob bad advice. but the spray paint hurts, requires medical assistance, and is easy to identify the assaulter if you need to file a police report
also isn’t bear spray already super long distance?
Already have some… mom got all of us it for Christmas? I think for my brother and I, it included a mount to attach it to a bike?
it gets better comrade. stay safe and best of luck
A bit relateable. Definitely have some anxiety about any sort of presentation outside the norm and being around strangers. Haven’t even had any bad experiences (except when I cosplayed, there were certainly a lot of people who seemed to think I choose to cosplay as a female character cause “haha, being guy in dress is funny”, but like they didn’t actually intend any harm and I didn’t feel threatened by them.