• HollowNaught@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    This might just be me, but an exclamation point ruins this joke, and many similar ones

    With no exclamation point, I read this as a very dry, very serious response, and the comedy comes from the absurdity of what’s said with a straight face

    When I see the exclamation mark, my brain goes “BOOMER BOOMER BOOMER”

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      4 months ago

      I worked with a lot of non-native English speakers and they love this stuff.

      I don’t understand why. I mean, I can assume.

      • Bob@feddit.nl
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        4 months ago

        If they’re anything like me, they might be laughing simply because they get the pun.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Eh, as a native English speaker, I thought it was good. I have pretty low standards though, and I like other corny jokes like saying you’re vegetarian because you only eat other vegetarians (e.g. cows).

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I think it’s hilarious to dunk on preachy vegans/vegetarians, and I live that little asshole of a cat lol

      • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
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        4 months ago

        The difference between veganism and religion is that one is based on facts, the other is not.

        • It’s true that other species of animals are sentient, they have nervous systems similar enough to ours that we know they can feel pleasure and pain.
        • It’s true that we kill billions of them per year.
        • It’s true that the vast majority of them are factory farmed (74% worldwide, 99% in the US).
        • It’s true that humans at all stages of life can thrive on a properly planned vegan diet, according to most major health organizations.
        • It’s true that animal agriculture is extremely inefficient and loses a lot of calories from crops being put towards feeding animals (see: trophic levels)
        • It’s true that animal agriculture has a huge impact on the environment compared to feeding crops directly to humans.

        so get out of here with that nonsense that veganism is religious zealotry. I don’t have time to cite a source for each point, but they’re all super easily verified. Veganism is looking at the impact of your choices with clear eyes and choosing compassion over personal pleasure. It’s choosing to live and let live, rather than forcing death and misery on other species because you like the taste of their flesh and secretions.

        • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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          4 months ago

          It’s true that humans at all stages of life can thrive on a properly planned vegan diet, according to most major health organizations.

          Wait, including newborns? I mean, I doubt there’s a vegan alive who’s against breastfeeding, but for people who can’t breastfeed, baby formula isn’t vegan, is it?

          Not trying to rag on the point you’re making btw

          • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
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            4 months ago

            I think there is vegan formula, and using breastmilk is vegan since it’s consensually given, including breastmilk shared by other mothers

            • commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              using breastmilk is vegan since it’s consensually given

              the definition of veganism says nothing about consent, only exploitation. breastmilk is as vegan an cows milk.

              • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
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                4 months ago

                Maybe your point would stand if humans had been bred to massively over-produce milk and had their babies taken from them so even more milk could be taken from them for profit and they had no agency in how their life went, from being bred in captivity and then impregnated in order to cause them to produce more milk to being killed when they stop producing milk.

                This is a stupid take, even for you

                • commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago
                  1. humans are animals
                  2. veganism eschews exploiting animals
                  3. drinking a product from a human is exploitation

                  therefore

                  1. breast milk is not vegan
              • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                4 months ago

                You’re not being exploited if you consent. Cows can’t consent, mothers can. That’s the argument.

                If we could somehow communicate w/ cows and get their consent, then cows milk could be vegan.

                • commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  You’re not being exploited if you consent.

                  the definition of exploitation makes no mention of consent, and no clarification about consent is made in the vegan society definition.

                • commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  You’re not being exploited if you consent.

                  i think this is a tenet of so-called “anarcho” capitalism.

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          And you start from a base assumption that any of that matters in terms of food.

          It’s like a retronym, picking facts to claim as a basis for a belief that’s rooted in a moral code.

          • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
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            4 months ago

            No, veganism as a conclusion is a combination of facts and basic moral understanding, principles like “live and let live”, “do no harm”, and the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do to you. If you’re a psychopath who doesn’t care how much harm, death, and suffering is caused in order to get sensory pleasure, I probably can’t convince you why veganism is worthwhile

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Lmmfao.

              There it goes. Straight to “oh, we’re super moral, and you’re evil/crazy if you don’t agree”

              And you’re not a zealot talking like that. Okay champ, you are good boy, sure, you go.

              • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
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                4 months ago

                do you disagree with all the ethical principles I mentioned, or the facts I listed? Or do you think that the conclusion doesn’t follow from the premises?

                • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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                  4 months ago

                  Somehow, you think this is a debate. It isn’t. It’s me fucking around because vegans are zealots that call people that don’t agree with them psychopaths (which isn’t really a useful term now, the dsm classifies things differently, but I’m okay with the colloquial usage here, no worries).

                  What I do disagree with is the assumption that a cobbled together set of beliefs makes someone better than another, which is exactly what someone is showing when they start throwing around terms like psychopath willy nilly like that.

                  Seriously, dude, you already proved my point. It was inevitable that someone would, or just happened to be you. I’ve had my laugh, you’ve had your moment of feeling superior, so I think we both had a good time :)

        • atro_city@fedia.io
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          4 months ago

          You are focusing on the word religious, but it’s the zealot that’s important here. Of course you lot are zealots. It doesn’t matter what argument is made against veganism, you will defend it - vehemently.

          OK, maybe not all of you are radical to the point of, I dunno, bombing meat processing plants, but online, you make a up very vocal group of people. Enough that there are memes about y’all. It’s like linux folk, or the people over on lemmygrad, the anti-woke crowd, the feminists, and other vocal groups.

          • darganon@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            I’m not vegan, but what are the counter arguments? It tastes good? It’s convenient?

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Eh, the real counter argument isn’t about their beliefs. That’s fine. Most of it is sound logic.

              The problem is their insistence on not only being right, but being better.

              The part that makes it silly is the assumptions that chain from there being a right and wrong about what we do with dead animals. It’s a corpse. What matters is how we treat the living animals, and they are utterly convinced that not only is their way the one true way, but that anyone who believes otherwise is a bad person. I’ve been using this troll for something like a decade, and it never, ever fails to draw someone throwing around terms like evil, heartless, cruel, psychopath, etc.

              That’s the thing to counter argue, not any of the ecological stuff, or the need to treat living things well.

              That assumption of moral authority is the point of the troll.

            • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Humans are omnivores, and have been for the lifespan of our species

              There are a number of important nutrients that humans get from animal products that are difficult to get from plant-based sources, including vitamin B12, which is not present in land-based plant species (I’m not sure whether red algae counts as a plant, so I’m playing it safe with land-based)

              • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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                4 months ago

                That being said, a lot of people (myself included) eat far more animal products, particularly meat, than needed

                There are a number of factors at play there, including government subsidies for feed crops and meat production artificially driving up its availability

                • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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                  4 months ago

                  From the research I’ve done, I think the most responsible diet would be a mostly plant-based one, but with the addition of chicken eggs from a responsible source, along with a basic mineral supplement for calcium/iron

              • atro_city@fedia.io
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                4 months ago

                This is one argument @darganon. We need nutrients from a variety of things. We can live without some of them but that can come at the cost of health later in life e.g Vegetarian women more likely to fracture hips in later life.

                Furthermore:

                animal-source foods (ASFs) are dense in bioavailable vitamins and minerals. ASFs are the only intrinsic food source of vitamin B12 [7] and contain more bioavailable forms of vitamins A and D, iron, and zinc than plant source foods (PSFs)

                Source

                Then there’s land-use:

                • 86% of the global livestock feed intake in dry matter consists of feed materials that are not currently edible for humans

                • Contrary to commonly cited figures, 1 kg of meat requires 2.8 kg of human-edible feed for ruminants and 3.2 for monogastrics

                • Livestock consume one third of global cereal production and uses about 40% of global arable land

                Source

                It wouldn’t surprise me if we evolved to have balanced diet from multiple sources because they have the nutrients we require. We most likely don’t need all the meat we’re eating and we do a terrible job in developed countries with reducing waste. But just like a purely meat based diet, a purely plant based diet is just one of the extremes. To each their own though.

            • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Why do you need a counter argument? X being valid/true has no impact on whether Y is valid/true. Attack an argument on the merits of the argument, not on the lack of merits of an alternative.

              That said, the main argument in favor of eating meat is that humans evolved to eat meat, so our bodies need nutrients that are easier to find in meat (e.g. certain types of protein). However, meat was a much smaller portion of our diets in the past than it is today, so this argument is actually in favor of eating less meat, but still including meat in your diet.

              The concepts of veganism aren’t really at odds with meat consumption. In many (most?) cases, vegans care most about the ethical treatment of animals (as opposed to vegetarians, who are more often motivated by nutrition), and our current meat processing industry is a lot less ethical than it was hundreds or thousands of years ago when most meat was either free range or wild. So I think it’s totally reasonable to take a middle ground and defend meat consumption on nutritional grounds while also defending veganism on ethical grounds.

          • CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml
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            4 months ago

            I’m zealously against rape, zealously against slavery, why should people not be zealously against what they consider industrial mass murder of innocent lives? Zealousness isn’t bad in and of itself

            • atro_city@fedia.io
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              4 months ago

              “what they consider” being the important part here. People are zealously against what they consider the dilution of the “white gene pool”. Does that make them right? People are zealously against what they consider robbery by the state of their hard earned money. Should we condone it because they are zealous?

              Yes, zealousness isn’t bad in and of itself, nothing is. Everything is a matter of perspective. Maybe murder of humans could be considered a valiant, virtuous, and veritably honorable thing to do if one thought it could fend of the mass extinction event we are in. Rape could be justified by rapists as a necessary action to spread their seed.

              Vegans aren’t the only people with justifications for what they do and what they consider right.

          • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            You get it :)

            I ain’t mad at what people do with their own lives, but vegans are so easy to troll with this because it’s true.

      • RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Anti-vegans are way more annoying and overzealous in my experience. I rarely see the stereotypical asshole vegan but I do often see the obnoxious anti-vegan.

        • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          I’m not gonna defend this meme or anything but there are very militant vegans on lemmy who sit in their communities and just insult non vegans with invented slurs and sometimes fantasize about violence towards them.

          While it’s usually in their communities they also frequently forget where they are and bring it outside the bubbles. I wouldn’t be surprised if one pops up here.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Idk, I have the opposite perspective. In real life, I hear of far too many announcements about being vegan when food isn’t even being discussed (e.g. “Hi, I’m <name> and I’m vegan.”), and I pretty much only hear about someone being anti-vegan when someone is being obnoxious. This is much worse on the internet, where people’s inhibitions seem a lot lower than real life.

          In fact, the only obnoxious anti-vegans I’ve seen are responses to obnoxious vegans. As in, the discussion is started by the vegan, and then they get dogpiled by the anti-vegans. The number of responses may be higher from the anti-vegans, but anti-vegans don’t seem to initiate.

          Maybe that’s just me, idk, but that’s what I’ve noticed.

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Maybe, maybe. Dunno, I’m not anti-vegan, I just like trolling them.

          That is actually a different thing. I cook vegan for friends and family. I even agree with most of the reasoning they espouse (the serious ones, not the online assholes).

          But, c’mon, they’re so easy to bait, and someone always tries the same stuff in response. I can outright say “I’m trolling you vegans because it’s fun, and the troll is that you’re religious zealots”, and there’s still people that have to screech about how vegans are superior. That’s how silly it gets.

          It’s a personality flaw, I guess. I just can’t stop myself from poking at stuffed shirts. It got me fired twice irl. One of those was in fast food as a teenager, so I don’t think it counts, but still.

          • Kacarott@aussie.zone
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            4 months ago

            not the online assholes

            Honestly you’ve made yourself seem like an online asshole here. Who else besides an asshole ragebaits people for their own enjoyment?

            • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Did I ever say I wasn’t an asshole?

              Hell, go back through my comment history. I’ve said, directly, honestly, and openly that I’m an asshole. I tend to be a friendly, happy asshole, but I’m just as much an asshole as every other human on the planet.

              • jorp@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                hey bud maybe you think everyone is an asshole like you and that’s your excuse for being one but that’s not going to change that you’re an asshole and especially as people get older they have less time for assholes.

                You might want to stop trying to own it and just try not being an asshole instead.

                • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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                  4 months ago

                  My homie, every human on the planet is an asshole, it’s just a matter of degree. Like, the last person that wasn’t was Fred Rogers, and he’s long gone.

                  So, shush. Lemme have my little thing. It ain’t much, but it’s a good laugh.

                  Like, I get your instinct, I do. It’s cool. You’re going about it wrong, but I dig the effort anyway.

                  Also, the homie thing isn’t snark, it’s a genuine thing to remind us both that even assholes can reach out and connect in a human way. No bullshit, no trolling on that. For some reason, people assume it’s snark more often than not, the way they do with bud, or pal, or whatever.

                  As a side note, did you catch the fella that took the bait and started throwing around psychopath as his take on anyone that disagrees with his beliefs? It always comes down to someone going there, if not always in that exact phrasing. That’s why it’s funny. You’ve got a belief system that’s supposed to be about compassion and ethics and goodness, but it always comes back to them insisting not only that they’re right, but that anyone else is bad for not signing up. It is absolutely hilarious that they don’t see themselves doing the same thing christian zealots do when you disagree with their stance on gay rights, trans rights, abortion, etc.

                  It’s the same thing, over and over again.

      • Monstrosity@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Good try but the answer is, “don’t worry they’ll tell you!” as this hilarious meme so perfectly illustrates.

        It’s a classic!

        • tobogganablaze@lemmus.org
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          4 months ago

          Yeah the joke doesn’t really work when you flip it around because people don’t actually go around telling other people that they eat meat out of the blue. And why would you? In most western societies that’s just the assumed default anyway and there is no “moral highground” to claim with such a statement.

          This really only happens on the internet and it’s almost always to troll vegans.

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            Exactly. I don’t identify as a “meat eater,” I just eat whatever looks good. Sometimes that’s vegetarian, sometimes it’s vegan, and sometimes it has meat. I care about sustainability, but I don’t go out of my way to avoid meat, I just try to eat less meat.

            That said, if a vegan is being a troll, I’ll troll them back by acting like a T. Rex. I never do this in person, only on the internet. In person, I’m more curious because I’m interested in trying new things and reducing my meat consumption.

  • Avid Amoeba@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    So controversial. Now imagine we’re also laughing at the ridiculous position of the cat.

  • Vivendi
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    4 months ago

    This is funny, but your mistake was to post it to the Turbo Vegan Central Committee aka “Lemmy”

    • Monstrosity@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      No kidding, next time try Truth Social, bro. They’ll be rolling in the aisles over there.