I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great
It’s not the “traditional concept”, it’s the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
The home office/battle station where you can pipe the output from one bash command into another bash command, or set up your media server or just play video games.
The kitchen where you can knead and bake sourdough, roll your own pasta, braise a hearty stew, or roast a leg of lamb.
The backyard where you can smoke a brisket, bake a pizza, host a wine tasting.
The garden or lawn where you can cultivate plants, grow something to eat, design a beautiful landscape, or restore a native sanctuary for migratory insects like the monarch butterfly or birds like a hummingbird or songbirds.
The gym where you can get ripped, build up your personal stats, and let off some steam through physical activity.
The closet or bedroom where you can plan out your fashion choices and wardrobe, iron your clothes, shine your shoes, and otherwise make stylish choices.
Some sort of room or garage where you can jam out with musical instruments.
This guy fucking gets it. Let’s go with hobbies. Show your kids passion and a love of learning, the ability to have fun, and wrap it all in in emotional support and love and everything will be fine. I have an office with a bunch of nerd projects and we’re building out the basement workshop. My 3 year old already “helps” me build stuff and I hope that only increases. Mom has a second husband of her job in athletics, so kiddo is learning about normalizing hard work and athletic endeavors, visits Mommy’s office and weight room, etc.
The meme is funny. A lot of this conversation is definitely not, glad there’s some reasonable takes down here.
Also, 1 of the guys’ wives thought he was cheating on her. She followed him to a house and thought to catch him in the act, when he went into the basement. Instead, she burst in on him and his friends playtesting D&D in their basement mancave.
It might have been his GF. Definitely his female other half.
The difference between a mancave and a workshop is 90% mentality. A workshop is generally to do a job, or a chore. A mancave is focused on enjoyment. The line is extremely blurry, however. Particularly if you enjoy making stuff.
By example. Developing D&D in a cosy basement, with the intention of having fun, it’s a mancave. By the time you’re using the same basement more for boxing and organising shipping, it’s a workshop. It’s akin to the difference between a bedroom and a brothel.
Oh, I was thinking it may have still been their parents’ garage. But I guess they were a bit older than that (and back then, college dropouts could afford houses with garages).
The toxic aspect isn’t from wanting space apart from your spouse, it’s in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn’t make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.
I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
It’s not the “traditional concept”, it’s the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
What if I’m not qualified to glue two pieces of cardboard together? Where is my hideout?
In that case, you have a few options:
This guy fucking gets it. Let’s go with hobbies. Show your kids passion and a love of learning, the ability to have fun, and wrap it all in in emotional support and love and everything will be fine. I have an office with a bunch of nerd projects and we’re building out the basement workshop. My 3 year old already “helps” me build stuff and I hope that only increases. Mom has a second husband of her job in athletics, so kiddo is learning about normalizing hard work and athletic endeavors, visits Mommy’s office and weight room, etc.
The meme is funny. A lot of this conversation is definitely not, glad there’s some reasonable takes down here.
Dungeons and dragons was developed in a man cave.
Also, 1 of the guys’ wives thought he was cheating on her. She followed him to a house and thought to catch him in the act, when he went into the basement. Instead, she burst in on him and his friends playtesting D&D in their basement mancave.
If we’re going by this logic, I would say that the personal computer was invented in a “man cave”.
Though I guess those kids weren’t married yet (right? probably?)
It might have been his GF. Definitely his female other half.
The difference between a mancave and a workshop is 90% mentality. A workshop is generally to do a job, or a chore. A mancave is focused on enjoyment. The line is extremely blurry, however. Particularly if you enjoy making stuff.
By example. Developing D&D in a cosy basement, with the intention of having fun, it’s a mancave. By the time you’re using the same basement more for boxing and organising shipping, it’s a workshop. It’s akin to the difference between a bedroom and a brothel.
Oh, I was thinking it may have still been their parents’ garage. But I guess they were a bit older than that (and back then, college dropouts could afford houses with garages).
Also basement.
Online
Fuck. You might be on to something
I’d hope that nobody would disagree with this.
The toxic aspect isn’t from wanting space apart from your spouse, it’s in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn’t make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.
Wine and nice sayings isn’t a hobby. A sports team you don’t participate in at all isn’t a hobby. Drinking isn’t a hobby.
Maybe not your hobbies (or mine), but these are all examples of an activity that someone does for pleasure when they are not working.
I’m going to start telling people I’m not an alcoholic, drinking is just a hobby of mine
That’s basically what “I’m a social drinker” means, so you can just say that.