• Forester@yiffit.net
        14·
        2 months ago

        How 'bout a nice cup of LIBER-TEA??? For LIBERTY! Liberty for ALL! GET SOME! Freedom never sleeps!

        /S

        I don’t think we’re ever going to lose the words just slowly twist and corrupt them until they are entirely ironic said seriously.

  • TxzK
    72·
    2 months ago

    I guess they really like losing civil wars huh? It’s their “heritage” after all.

  • Katana314@lemmy.worldEnglish
    41·
    2 months ago

    Look, conservatives, I’m pretty tired of you. I’m very close to snapping my fingers in the exact way that causes you to suddenly disappear from existence, so I suggest you play nice.

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
    41·
    2 months ago

    Don’t forget they rigged the election… but not enough to give them any real political power.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
      231·
      2 months ago

      They cheated in the election and put Biden into office but forgot to cheat enough to get full control of the House and Senate which would, in turn, give them control over the Judiciary!

      D’oh!

      I am going to write a sternly-worded letter to Dominion and Smartmatic about their voting machines not faking votes the right way.

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
    14·
    2 months ago

    They’re super sized soldiers! No one can defeat the gravy seals!

    Goddamn it I had the perfect gif for this… Stupid thing won’t display

    Edit: thanks rain_worl!

  • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
    13·
    2 months ago

    Well Mister you forgot one thing, they have the hulk. God

    GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN HE’S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA AND THE MONSTERS ON TV GOOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN AND HE’S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND ME

    • SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee
      12·
      2 months ago

      Did you just… veggietales me? In public, all out and about like this and you pull out your veggietales like that?

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
        19·
        2 months ago

        “My dear, religion is like a penis. It’s a perfectly fine thing to have and take pride in, but when one takes it out and waves it in front of my face we have a problem."

        • Dame Maggie Smith
      • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
        3·
        2 months ago

        Finally someone said it.

        Yeah I did, what’re you gonna do? I’m on this big wall.

        🫛 🧱

        Keep walking, but you won’t knock down our wall. Keep walking, but she isn’t gonna to fall!
        It’s plain to see your brains are very small. To think walking, will be knocking down our wall.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
      5·
      2 months ago

      Weirdly, though, he can’t just snap his fingers and make Satan vanish.

      I guess he’s not that omnipotent.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
          6·
          2 months ago

          Yeah, but evangelicals also think Satan does all sorts of trickery on Earth all the time to thwart God. Which God somehow lets happen.

          And then, of course, there’s the fact that people can hurt their omnipotent god by doing things like saying “fuck” or kissing someone of their own gender. The god that’s also omniscient, so he would have seen it coming before he did all the light let there being.

          • Bytemeister@lemmy.worldEnglish
            5·
            2 months ago

            Satan has to exist. Otherwise they would be responsible for the fucked up shit that they do.

            I’m a good Christian. I only did a shit ton of drugs and orgies because SATAN made me do it. I can’t go to hell because of what the devil did in my body. I can atone with god and he will clear my soul of wrongdoing. And then I can walk around in public without shame again.

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
              5·
              2 months ago

              The best part is all you have to do is say you’re sorry and you go to heaven. Then you just do more drugs and have more sex and then just say you’re sorry again… works every time!

          • imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee
            4·
            2 months ago

            God is secretly horny for all that shit, He’s Satan’s bottom.

            He’s just repressed, like a Republican senator.

            Weird how we all make gods in our own image

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
            2·
            2 months ago

            I’m firmly convinced that Christianity can be broken into polytheistic (folk Catholics especially), dualistic (everyone screaming about the devil), and monotheistic (all Christians are influenced by it and so any individual Christian may be). The dualists scare me