What else would happen in Heck?
When washing your hands, water always is running into your sleeve.
Satan? Is that you?
And if you don’t wash your hands after using the toilet, your hands will be covered in Doritos dust for a day no matter what.
That’s when you need to use The Cleaner.
A little bit of soap always is missed, and now your hands feel sticky after drying them.
But the soap dispenser is always somehow empty too.
Every meal you eat results in popcorn lodged in between your teeth regardless of what you eat
And you can never find a toothpick for an eternity of searching
Every show you ever watch will be really interesting and engaging ending on a giant season 1 cliffhanger and will be canceled never having a followup episode.
TIL Netflix runs Heck.
Slightly related, Netflix has a show called Exploding Kittens that runs vaguely on this premise.
whether 🏴☠️ is involved or not is none of my business
RIP “The Society”
Everybody’s really nice, but they’re super into virtuosic prog rock and won’t shut up about it.
Duuuuuude! You gotta check out Animals As Leaders tho! They’re prog metal, so they’re like, totally different than the stuff you’ve heard!
Ooh let’s talk djent. Periphery’s first album was incredible, but only the instrumental version. The vocals were annoying.
Agreed! Periphery’s vocals are too poppy for my taste. I’m more of a Meshuggah kind of guy, but I dig bands like Vola and Tesseract too.
Have y’all ever checked out Porcupine Tree? Their In Absentia days were the tops seriously
So, umm, yeah… So guys, y’all all seem really nice, but um, well, the thing is… 🤣🤣🤣
You always get ketchup water when applying ketchup, regardless if someone used it before you or if you’ve shaken the bottle.
I get mustard water, every damned time.
Every fart is a gamble
This is my normal life.
Welcome to Heck.
Ruled by Sathan
I’d take Satan over this.
Rubber undies. It doesn’t really help with the mess, but the farts sound funnier
Nobody chews with their mouth closed, and you aren’t allowed to eat by yourself
I dunno, for me this is legit Hell.
Toasters either barely warm up the bread, or completely carbonize it.
Your pillow is always warm on both sides
I live in a place where it can hit -40… for most of the year, that’s heckven
You have to live with a dog that doesn’t like pets / pats.
So, a cat?
My cat loves pets… but he chooses when.
I’m blessed… my cats love pets AND pats, any time, anywhere, even their bellies. They’re purrfect.
So, been in Heck long?
any time you’re just about to fall asleep you have a 51% chance of hearing a mosquito fly past your ear
And your dreams all start with you trying to fall asleep and there’s a 51% chance of hearing a mosquito fly past your ear. If it happens, you wake up immediately
No! This is straight up Hell material, not Heck!
You can get used to anything. All of these suggestions that start with “everytime” will be changed to “sometimes.” Because it’s the hope that kills ya.
You are perpetually stuck at a 4 way stop sign and no one will go, as everyone is waving everyone else to go first.
Standard fare in the uk already, here we’d be going round and round the roundabout, never able to exit.
Everything glares and your eyes hurt. It also smells constantly of BO and is uncomfortably warm. There is a tinnitus drone on the edge of your hearing. Everyone mumbles. You constantly forget why you came into the room. Food all tastes of cardboard and your scalp itches most of the time. You get cramp in your hands and feet at inopportune times.
I am become heck forgetter of the rest of this line.
Sounds like mondays!
Wait a minute
That’s called aging.
Older. You’re getting older. Heck can wait.
You have to use AI as an intermediary to speak to anyone.
With auto correct enabled? Oh wait, that’s for hell not heck.
