i really do wish they were federated just so we could tap on the glass and mention it to the lib.lgbt admins just to see the response. not gonna bother wasting my time making an account for their shit instance that doesnt ban a chaser name immediately
also doesnt implement pronouns. funny coming from a group that claims to be so LGBT positive while deriding the instance with pronouns implemented as manipulating LGBT people. theres many a reason so many trans people are here. at least one reason is avoiding obvious gaslighting.
I think we should avoid objectification of all kinds when it comes to real people. If they are asking for art, it’s whatever, I guess. Queer people are also capable of having pathological behaviors and mindsets, and the replication of cishet pathologies in [individuals and segments of] queer communities has been long-documented.
I disagree with that. I never saw what I understood as a bad faith argument. It bordered on some things that might sound like reactionary points but I think it was just a little confused, maybe had a hard time explaining things on account of being neurodivergent and perhaps didn’t fully understand them in the first place. You just had to get deeeeeeep in the weeds with it to try to figure out what the fuck it was talking about. There were a lot of claims that things are a certain way, and then that thing being referenced out of context later elsewhere and you had to refer back to the whole history of the user to figure out what was going on. Maybe it needed a user to ride along and translate for it lol
Edit: Since I was regrettably unclear below You can prefer any pronouns for any reason and that is valid. It is the responsibility of the speaker to make an effort to respect those pronouns
The comment is in the modlog and was posted elsewhere in the thread. Copied the screenshot here, context is a transphobic concern troll post removed by mods that it was supporting. https://hexbear.net/comment/3890636
Here’s the nuance: If you call someone who uses they/them they/them, then you are REFERRING to them correctly, but you’re not GENDERING them correctly, because you aren’t gendering them at all. You’re referring to them neutrally, which is the correct way to refer to someone who wants to be referred to neutrally.
I sympathise and agree with much of what you are saying.
“they is not ideal, but until you know better it will suffice.” might be the intended message.
If the person is replying in good faith and actually trying to both to understand and be understood. And that would include explicitly stating somewhere that it acknowledges that being pedantic about de-gendering vs misgendering is not constructive.
Paraphrasing, the events went along these lines.
user: TERFs use they/them pronouns for people who they damn well know use different pronouns as a way to de-gender people and as a slight against trans people
dronerights: actually, they/them is right anyways because it doesn’t do anything with gender, so the TERFs aren’t doing anything wrong, they are using language correctly
Descriptivism vs Prescriptivism. Its argument is that prescriptivism and technical definition is the only correct interpretation of they/them pronouns. Compare ‘they banned me for saying gender neutral pronouns exist’ with, for instance, JKKK Rowling claiming to be canceled for saying gender exists. Its a false argument. Descriptively, they/them is not used neutrally, and is used to hurt people, therefore they/them can be gendered. TERFs use they/them as a stand-in for misgendering, therefore it is misgendering. They/them means she/her for people who use he/him, and vice versa. They/them means ‘I refuse to use your made up neopronouns’. The gender neutral definition isn’t the only one, and dronerights insisting upon the gender neutrality in all circumstances is incorrect.
The pedantic insistence that the context shouldn’t matter because they/them is technically correct, or should be correct, is where the transphobia lies.
And until I see any acknowledgement by dronerights of this, instead of constantly doubling down on it, I do not see a good faith argument.
Instead we have this. The user misrepresenting events. Misrepresentation is bad faith. If it said it was being a pedantic jerk and clarified, that would go a long way to earning this generous interpretation of its position that you want to give it. It is trying to be right and win an internet argument at any cost and constantly starts fights between users and instances (also bad faith actions).
The mod log should be pinned to the front page. And the post should be titled: “If you’re from another instance trying to find proof that your users were mistreated by evil tankies, please search their username in this log.”
![[CW: chaser username] Hexbear: Not pro-LGBTQ+, the Israel of Lemmy instances](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/ecb0ac2c-5607-439f-8507-ec2eb8170ba5.png){kind=link}
How do people expect to be taken seriously while blatantly lying about ban reasons when the mod log is public?
Oh look, it was not banned for saying gender-neutral pronouns exist.
omfg this is dronerights? wild. guess its going on a chaser arc
It originally signed up with the above username and was mad about having to change names.
if i knew that i would have lobbied for more purging, that shit dont change overnight
TomboyShulk puts in work.
i really do wish they were federated just so we could tap on the glass and mention it to the lib.lgbt admins just to see the response. not gonna bother wasting my time making an account for their shit instance that doesnt ban a chaser name immediately
also doesnt implement pronouns. funny coming from a group that claims to be so LGBT positive while deriding the instance with pronouns implemented as manipulating LGBT people. theres many a reason so many trans people are here. at least one reason is avoiding obvious gaslighting.
Fixed link: https://hexbear.net/modlog?page=1&userId=177941
Thanks, didn’t notice formatting gets broken.
deleted by creator
I think we should avoid objectification of all kinds when it comes to real people. If they are asking for art, it’s whatever, I guess. Queer people are also capable of having pathological behaviors and mindsets, and the replication of cishet pathologies in [individuals and segments of] queer communities has been long-documented.
This was/is the most predictable thing ever. They did not make a single good faith argument.
I disagree with that. I never saw what I understood as a bad faith argument. It bordered on some things that might sound like reactionary points but I think it was just a little confused, maybe had a hard time explaining things on account of being neurodivergent and perhaps didn’t fully understand them in the first place. You just had to get deeeeeeep in the weeds with it to try to figure out what the fuck it was talking about. There were a lot of claims that things are a certain way, and then that thing being referenced out of context later elsewhere and you had to refer back to the whole history of the user to figure out what was going on. Maybe it needed a user to ride along and translate for it lol
Edit: Since I was regrettably unclear below You can prefer any pronouns for any reason and that is valid. It is the responsibility of the speaker to make an effort to respect those pronouns
Explain how that’s not reactionary.
I’m going to need the context there because that doesn’t sound like something dronerights would have said.
The comment is in the modlog and was posted elsewhere in the thread. Copied the screenshot here, context is a transphobic concern troll post removed by mods that it was supporting.
https://hexbear.net/comment/3890636
Removed by mod
It responded here: https://lemm.ee/post/12418057
I sympathise and agree with much of what you are saying.
“they is not ideal, but until you know better it will suffice.” might be the intended message.
If the person is replying in good faith and actually trying to both to understand and be understood. And that would include explicitly stating somewhere that it acknowledges that being pedantic about de-gendering vs misgendering is not constructive.
Paraphrasing, the events went along these lines.
Descriptivism vs Prescriptivism. Its argument is that prescriptivism and technical definition is the only correct interpretation of they/them pronouns. Compare ‘they banned me for saying gender neutral pronouns exist’ with, for instance, JKKK Rowling claiming to be canceled for saying gender exists. Its a false argument. Descriptively, they/them is not used neutrally, and is used to hurt people, therefore they/them can be gendered. TERFs use they/them as a stand-in for misgendering, therefore it is misgendering. They/them means she/her for people who use he/him, and vice versa. They/them means ‘I refuse to use your made up neopronouns’. The gender neutral definition isn’t the only one, and dronerights insisting upon the gender neutrality in all circumstances is incorrect.
The pedantic insistence that the context shouldn’t matter because they/them is technically correct, or should be correct, is where the transphobia lies.
And until I see any acknowledgement by dronerights of this, instead of constantly doubling down on it, I do not see a good faith argument.
Instead we have this. The user misrepresenting events. Misrepresentation is bad faith. If it said it was being a pedantic jerk and clarified, that would go a long way to earning this generous interpretation of its position that you want to give it. It is trying to be right and win an internet argument at any cost and constantly starts fights between users and instances (also bad faith actions).
That doesn’t make it better holy shit. For some of us, they is ideal. That’s the point.
Also holy shit, you: I’m gonna need proof
[proof]
you:
The mod log should be pinned to the front page. And the post should be titled: “If you’re from another instance trying to find proof that your users were mistreated by evil tankies, please search their username in this log.”