Well that sounds interesting!

Oh… Ubisoft… Nevermind.

In only a couple of weeks, you’ll be able to sail the seven seas with a purple rarity cannon firing off common rarity cannon balls that you bought off a rank 25 landlubber with your Skullbucks. Cool!

Side contracts, repeatable contracts, bounty contracts, and world events that are surely just contracts with a different name. And of course, you get a bunch of exclusive rewards for taking part, most of which are a bit eh, except a pet lemur called “Cookie”.

Our Alice B previewed the game last year and thought its busywork - “flashing weakpoints”, collecting crafting materials, “staying inside demarcated areas for fights” - would be a “bulwark to the kind of instant joy on the open water that Sea Of Thieves facilitates”.

Micheal Scott: I hate so much about the things that you choose to be

Wow this is still coming out?

Literally all they had to do was include the actual fun parts of AC Black Flag and they literally just excised all the parts that made that game fun.