In only a couple of weeks, you’ll be able to sail the seven seas with a purple rarity cannon firing off common rarity cannon balls that you bought off a rank 25 landlubber with your Skullbucks. Cool!

Side contracts, repeatable contracts, bounty contracts, and world events that are surely just contracts with a different name. And of course, you get a bunch of exclusive rewards for taking part, most of which are a bit eh, except a pet lemur called “Cookie”.

Our Alice B previewed the game last year and thought its busywork - “flashing weakpoints”, collecting crafting materials, “staying inside demarcated areas for fights” - would be a “bulwark to the kind of instant joy on the open water that Sea Of Thieves facilitates”.

Micheal Scott: I hate so much about the things that you choose to be