they found something denser than lead

this month has been a roller coaster for jeff tiedrich, trumps indictment was the top of the drop, last night was the euthanasia loops

acute malarkey shortage artificially sustained by federal malarkotics bureau interference with private malarkey industry production chains in bullshit-rich sectors of the market

you will be praised once (1 time (uno)) upon the moment of the completion of your one millionth dodge roll

he was cursed by the evil fox deity that inhabits rupert murdoch’s corpse

the fruit of the nutbird vine (invasive species, cognitohazardous)

sir your vehicle has testicular cancer

Bio Bidet by Bemis

I gotta tell ya fam, that is… a bad name for a line of bidets. I am instantly suspicious of your bidet. the image of a bidet shooting my butt with something that is clearly NOT clean water springs into my mind unbidden when you repeat the phrase “Bio Bidet”

the disassociated lefty to painfully insightful doomer girlboss pipeline is measured down the length of a needle full of estrogen going into a thigh

found too infirm to stand trial

sorry kamala, he already did

gimme da gril pil

the resemblance is uncanny

getting a low back tattoo CW LEWD BUTT

if you say “tits and an ass” that counts as one wish

deleted by creator

first they came for frijoles, and I did not speak out, for the refritos made me gassy

without a big x or a red cross through the hand how am I, Everyman Amerikanski, supposed to know the pear is not for me?

oh this one’s a gem, a real “Pluto’s Pluto” ya know?

I’d use it to wave hello as would be the custom

this is the idf’s army corps of engineers getting really fucking bored and deciding to increase the ambient racism with a trebuchet that sets crops on fire