Like i have little interest in changing presentation and definitly no interest in hormones, but i do have some degree of discomfort with the concept of masculinity

  • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    17·
    5 months ago

    I’ve got a buddy who went as far as going on hormones for a time because he hated “masculinity” [in the sense of behavior and patriarchy, not presentation] and wanted to do whatever he could to get away from it. Ultimately, he decided that it made sense to keep identifying as male but support on all avenues the destruction of patriarchy. I never took hormones, but he and I have some feelings in common (though I seem to have more “dysphoria”* than he does) and my conclusion is very similar to his. I usually stay out of threads on this comm because I’m cis, but in this case I thought it was worth saying something because it reminded me a lot of cases I know well. I feel like for a lot of progressive AMABs, whether they become NB or not is basically a question of how deeply ingrained certain perspectives on “what a man is” are for them.

    *in scare quotes to indicate the shakiness of my case, not the concept itself

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
      6·
      5 months ago

      For a long time, I just assumed by discomfort with a male identity was just a dislike of toxic masculinity in particular. So, I said things like “I don’t identify as a man, but I’m technically cis.” Even when I acknowledged I wasn’t cis, I still didn’t consider myself trans because, at the time, I had no intentions of transitioning in any way.

      Anyways, presentation isn’t gender, there is no minimum amount of suffering required to be trans, you don’t need any sort of medical treatment to be trans, and trans isn’t short for transition. If you don’t jive with your agab, then you’re free to use the label.

      Funnily, our mom seemed to think my brother was questioning his gender when he brought up the topic of gender with her (because I had come out to him) and she say things like “See Bob? He’s a good man. You don’t have to be like those other bad examples of men to be one” to him to try to convince him that he was cis.

      Not trying to tell you how you should identify though. None of my business.