• FanonFan [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    I hate living in a world of symbols

    Like having to be constantly aware of when sign represents some seemingly unrelated essence, whether the user intends it or not.

    See someone with a fedora and neck beard and it’s supposed to mean they’re misogynist.

    My choice of masc or femme clothing sends a signal of my identity whether I want it to or not, and there’s no such thing as a neutral base that sends no signal, like if I put no effort into it I still send a signal, I’m just unaware of what that signal is. Everything is this-coded or that-coded and to try to be not-coded is a statement rather than a lack of one. There’s no such thing as a non-statement.

    I just want to float through existence as a pure essence, interacting with other pure essences.

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Feel this super hard

      Body image issues always led me to conceptualize myself as an entity inhabiting a body, the body being incidental. And yes, I know my mind is an emanation of my body, but it’s still primarily a vehicle for my soul. I want to meet other souls.

      • 1nt3rd1m3nt10n4l [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        Body image issues always led me to conceptualize myself as an entity inhabiting a body, the body being incidental.

        I also felt this way until I started getting myself involved with physical exercise, and now I kinda feel more grounded in myself.

        That might help you.

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          10 months ago

          Oh I feel very much in touch with my body now, chronic pain forced me to do that against my will. I do exercise, though not enough. Honestly a thing that helped a lot more is being okay enough with myself to get out there and attempt dating again, and starting to notice trends among the compliments I get. Taking better care of myself now.

          Still wish I could escape this body though, and get one that doesn’t hurt all the time and still has hair. Or to go full AdMech. To embrace the strength and certainty of steel, and aspire to the purity of the blessed machine.

    • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      All about the cultural signifiers, comrade. People want to be part of a tribe but that makes them all so bland. Just a conveyor belt of general purpose assembly line humanity specced to fit into a wide variety of utilities. Pure essences are too nebulous to fit. We just have to drift together on the perimeter

    • 1nt3rd1m3nt10n4l [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      I just want to float through existence as a pure essence, interacting with other pure essences.

      That’s basically what Human Instrumentality was, and the point about why that was bad was that you may not actually like who you “really are”, or who other people are, and they still may not actually like you.

  • President_Obama [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    The survey results, which have been shared with Teen Vogue, include responses from 1,033 registered voters between the ages of 18-34. It was conducted between August 25 and September 1: 43% of respondents identify as male; 45% identify as female; 5% identify as trans; 6% identify as nonbinary or gender nonconforming, and 1% identify as other. (source)

    Trans people disproportionately identified as “progressive”, the most left wing option there was in the survey:

    • bigboopballs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      I hate how every dating app profile is all about how they enjoy skydiving, 4x4ing, kayaking and all kinds of crazy shit that is way too exciting for me, and probably would cost several months of my disposable income

      • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        I think it’s lifestyle airbrushing, like what basic people do on Facebook. I highly doubt most of them actually have the time or even the inclination to do that stuff regularly, but if they did it once or have the equipment, they can add it to the Very Important And Dynamic People bingo card.

          • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            10 months ago

            I don’t think this is necessarily true

            I know tons of people that are happy and interesting to talk to who don’t have hobbies or interests but they just do random stuff all the time

            Stuff like clubbing, going to art/cultural/music events, consuming random media, travelling, hanging out in parks/around the city, etc.

            • CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn [any]@hexbear.net
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              10 months ago

              In my books that counts. It’s cool when people have long-term interests but if you do stuff all the time that also makes you an interesting person. I would struggle to have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn’t do anything like you listed.

          • bigboopballs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            10 months ago

            well I am too fucking poor for “hobbies”. why am I condemned to being undateable and unfuckable until I move up a tax bracket or two?

            • xXthrowawayXx [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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              10 months ago

              You’re not too poor for hobbies, you’re too poor to go skydiving and shit. There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear. No one wants to date a person who never does anything. Whatever you do is your hobby.

              • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                10 months ago

                I was seeing a woman recently who was in debt and worked 2 full time jobs and 1 part time job and spent all her free time going on dates with me or clubbing with her friends

                You can 100% be too poor to have hobbies

              • bigboopballs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                10 months ago

                There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear.

                and if you’re always in survival mode you won’t have time for any of that crap

                Whatever you do is your hobby.

                ok my hobbies are video games and going to the gym. do I pass the dating site tests yet?

                No one wants to date a person who never does anything.

                why? why would an adult give a fuck how much time I spend “going out” if there is chemistry or whatever?

                • xXthrowawayXx [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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                  10 months ago

                  If you’re always in survival mode then you don’t have time for dating either. It sucks but almost everyone in the history of humanity didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.

                  People care what you do with your free time because chemistry will only take up some of it. Part of using a dating app is imagining yourself with the person and forming an opinion. Can I see myself with a skydiver? What about a gamer? What about a woodworker (jk, the mustache would tickle too much)?

                  What do you think qualifies as a hobby?

            • 1nt3rd1m3nt10n4l [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              10 months ago

              I mean the answer here is that yeah, we live under Capitalism, so how much money you make absolutely matters to how good of a shot you have in the dating pool; particularly as a man.

              Some people will tell you that these things don’t matter, because of some weird anecdote where they make up a dude who lives out of a dumpster but gets numbers all the time, but that’s not reality, and that’s absolutely not the norm.

        • CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn [any]@hexbear.net
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          10 months ago

          Well I probably wouldn’t start to like them in any sort of romantic sense.

          Having some sort of drive to do something or be interested in a particular topic or endeavour is a pretty fundamental part of my brain. I’m defining “hobbies” very broadly here, but being able to do or create things for their own sake, especially with or for other people, is a major portion of the point of my life.

          Even just enjoying whipping up a good dinner for yourself once in a while counts. Bingeing Netflix as an escape doesn’t to me. Obviously this is pretty subjective but it’s how I relate to people.

          The other thing is that I like people with a confident and well-defined sense of self, and interests and hobbies are a major part of that. I’ve been at the point where I want to sink time into some of the things I care about and a partner of mine has little of their own to counterbalance that, and the mismatch with how we want to spend time can be difficult. I absolutely cannot be someone’s only obsession.

  • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    10 months ago

    Hell yeah! New dude repellant!

    Just admit I’m a commie and 65% of dudes leave me alone!

    Probably more like 85% - Living semi-rural in a historically conservative area suuuuuuck. And progressives tend to respect the nonverbal fuck off signals, so just a ton of conservative dickbags bothering…

      • mars [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        I saw a profile once where this woman had put that she wanted someone “mostly progressive” or something like that, which I thought was a weird way to phrase that until I scrolled down and saw an “I have my shit together and so should you” section of her profile that mentioned she had rental properties she’d “built up” or something. Must suck wanting to meet a guy that doesn’t dehumanize you but is also okay with you sucking the juices out of people too poor to buy their own home.

  • macerated_baby_presidents [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Screaming and crying and throwing up and shaving my neck rn

    But yeah idc that most women don’t want to date a vegan/communist/etc. It’s convenient for me since I don’t want to date anyone who isn’t. This way I don’t have to do all of the filtering myself. I hate talking to someone, scheduling a date, and then learning that they are a squishy liberal who is presumably looking past politics because they like some other thing about me. I don’t want you, you are wasting both our time. One time a girl literally dropped the r slur. Like did you read the bio or not? Jesus, people.

    • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      yeah I was gonna come say this. Most everyday regular people think the word communist just means “bad.” They don’t ascribe it any particular political leaning, they don’t associate it with leftism or welfare or working class concerns or anything. It carries the same weight as a word like authoritarian or tyrant. Most everyday folk if pressed to describe what a communist believes will instead describe a cartoon of a greedy autocrat who makes everyone poor and causes the crops to die.