Almost 3 years ago now, surfing around r/traaaa I came across this comic. I just liked the community because I thought trans people had some great memes and sense of humor, and I thought it was pretty cool that people stepped out to be themselves… Then this. Just wanted to share.

  • Comp4 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Hope this is ok for me to post.

    In theory, I like the idea of being a woman. It’s just that I absolutely dread growing old as a woman, whereas I’m pretty cool with growing older as a man. I’m also pretty comfortable being a guy and more or less at peace with it. I also would have completely unrealistic beauty standards for myself… If I’m not the most beautiful woman in the room, what’s the point? Plus, I would want to get implants and surgery; anything less than being smoking hot would be a disappointment for me. If I were 10 years younger, I would consider it. I’m close to my mid-30s and want to be a father one day… not a mom. I’m also lazy as hell, and being a hot woman sounds like super high maintenance.

    Respect to anyone who transitions, but I don’t think I’m brave enough for it.

    Now there is a possibility that I am trans, but does it honestly matter if I don’t transition and live my whole life as a guy ?

    • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      I absolutely dread growing old as a woman

      anything less than being smoking hot would be a disappointment for me. If I were 10 years younger, I would consider it

      does it honestly matter if I don’t transition and live my whole life as a guy ?

      just wanted to say that this was 100% me before transition and i ended up regretting putting it off

      not to say you’ll end up in the same boat, just that you can feel and think all these things and still be trans. i will also say that i am infinitely happier than i ever was as a man

      however things shake out for you, i hope you end up happy meow-hug

    • Huldra [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      The only person you are transitioning for is yourself, so it’s all up to you.

      While I would say that those beauty standards would almost certainly shift and change with time, if you feel genuinely comfortable where you are now and where you think you will be in the future, then you’re in a good spot anyways.

    • DinosaurThussy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      Now there is a possibility that I am trans, but does it honestly matter if I don’t transition and live my whole life as a guy ?

      Self knowledge is worth something on its own. There are plenty of trans people who live as their assigned gender and have no plans to transition. There’re valid reasons for this and safety is a big one, physical, social, and psychological alike.

      I present as my assigned gender because the fluidity and androgyny I’d prefer is very difficult to achieve for various reasons. I still get a lot out of understanding my dysphoria as such and doing tiny little subjective things that feel gender affirming to me throughout my day.

      It’s also helped me massively just in terms of my self worth and in terms of dealing with my body dysmorphia.

  • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    Sorry if this isn’t the place to say any of this and I’ll remove it if so, but this just reminded me of my own experience:

    Many years ago I had an almost irresistable urge to go talk to a doctor about wanting to be a woman that lasted somewhere around a couple of months. During that time I had no insurance nor any means to pay for HRT or anything like that. Instead I experimented with clothes and makeup and I shaved my whole body basically. It felt like a large release of pressure to even do that much but it wasn’t enough.

    This was prior to having really spoken to anyone about it, and it was not something that was popular in media or even anything I saw online for that matter, it just kind of happened really suddenly.
    I remember posting something about it on Reddit and being downvoted into oblivion. It wasn’t a generally acceptable thing to even discuss it seemed.

    But then after a few months that urge began to fade away slowly. Less and less did I have that intense desire. Over the next year or so I began to lose interest in any sort of feminization at all. I threw the clothes away and stopped shaving all my body hair and I felt better.

    Now it has been over a decade and change since that time and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a woman. In fact I feel the opposite. I don’t want to be a woman at all and I’m happy the way I am altogether. I actually think I’d be far more upset with myself now had I transitioned and I’d feel like I made a huge mistake.

    I have no idea what happened or why it happened but it was so sudden and so intense it makes me wonder if there was something in my food or what?

    Like, how the fuck does that even happen? Was it just some deep-seated desire to experiment that was triggered by something?

    I can’t even begin to explain it because throughout my life prior to that happening I don’t remember ever wanting to be a girl or woman.

    I’m not saying it’s wrong or that anyone shouldn’t feel that way, but for that urge to come on so suddenly and so strongly and then just fade away and now I have absolutely no feeling toward that, it’s just bizarre and doesn’t make much sense to me.

    Has this ever happened to anyone else?

    • DinosaurThussy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      Could be fluidity. Could be repression. Could be random fluctuations that you’ll probably never really decipher. Whether or not you wanna try and understand it better is up to you and it’s valid either way. My dysphoria comes and goes, sometimes for long periods of time. But it’s not like cis people never have any natural desires or curiosity about gender experimentation. I think it’s normal.

    • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      3 months ago

      Experimenting with sex and gender stuff is extremely normal, and I wish everybody treated it normally. I’ve sucked enough dicks in my life to recognize that I don’t really like it enough to do it full time. And both of our experiences are okay!

      You gave it a try, and it didn’t feel like you, so… that’s probably not you. I’m glad you could sort it out, and be your authentic self! That’s nothing to be ashamed of.