Image transcription:
Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities
I’ll start:
- Firewall
- Virtual Memory
- Single source of truth
- Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
malloc
Tell me that isn’t the name of a demon.
Ethernet
kill all children
reap children
I see you play Star Wars ttrpg
The Bard I played with last campaign did that by casting gravity well next to the exterior wall of an orphanage. He succeeded with your spell.
spawn daemon
Force Merge
Disconnect Peripheral: Removes someone’s limb.
Critical Vulnerability: Increases critical hit rate.
Memory buffer: Allows you yo remember things better.
Reroot tree: Tree digs itself out of the ground, walks to another location and takes root, as if it’s always been there.
Heap sort: More advanced technique for which Reroot tree is a prerequisite for some reason. Arranges assortments of things into neat piles with only one kind of object per pile. Very useful when looking for things in treasure chambers.
“I cast heap sort on the owlbear.”
“…”
“The owlbear is sorted into neat piles, the first containing hair/nails/claws/beaks, the second feathers, the third bone, the fourth meat, the fifth blood…”
Boot Loop - ties someone’s shoelaces together
I could actually see this being a cantrip for a bard or arcane trickster. It’s almost innocent in its mischief but would be a worthwhile hindrance on the battlefield.
For shoes without laces and creatures without shoes it could simply loop magical string around them.
Prob just a cut to movement with a dex save at the start of every move (like once per turn but they can avoid it by choosing not to move). Doesn’t need to be a high save, but if they fail, they trip.
Since it’s a cantrip they can remove the string with an action, and they last a number of turns equal to caster level.
I’d also love to see a DM be creative with how much it effects certain creatures. Centipede? Probably a little pissed but not too hindered by stumbling on one pair of legs. 1 legged Pete? Completely unaffected as he jumps at you with his 1 leg.
Boot Loops, when you can’t afford Fruit Loops.
I had a bit too much fun with these :)
Magical Items
- The Bandwidth Cap
Cursed item that limits the magical power of it’s wearer - The Token Ring
Magical ring that allows the wielder to communicate over large distances. They can receive messages from one token ring and send message to another. - The Memory Barrier
Protective charm that shields the mind from intrusion. - The Shadow Register
A magical ledger that records secrets and hidden locations in the immediate area. - The Superscalar
A legendary shimmering sword that can strike multiple foes in a single attack.
Spells
- Loopback
Redirects a spell to its point of origin. - Jabber
Causes the target to produce incoherent speech and lose its train of thought. - Branch Prediction
Gives the caster foresight to predict their opponent’s next action. - Traceroute
A tracking spell that reveals the path of a target. - Mask
Hides the caster’s true identity. - Hypertransport
Enables instantaneous movement over short distances. - Interrupt
Counterspell to disrupt an enemy’s casting.
Spell modifiers
- Broadcast
Modifies spell to affect a large area. - Unicast
Modifies spell to affect a single point with maximum damage. - Multicast
Modfies spell to affect multiple selected targets. - Repeater
Modifies spell to recast itself over multiple turns.
Transmission Control Protocol - Modifies teleportation and summoning to be very specific.
Universal Datagram Protocol - see “Shout”
UDP - See “shout”
I give you credit, not much causes me to actually laugh out loud… like a good, hearty belly laugh. This did, thank you for that.
- The Bandwidth Cap
LUT - A table appears 10ft above your target and falls on it dealing 1d6 bludgeoning.
“LOOK! UP! TABLE!”
By pure coincidence it’s also the sounds it makes when dropping on you
Beautiful! It’s also a bonus action reaction cantrip.
Default Gateway
Split Horizon
Routing Overhead
Broadcast Storm
edit:fkn markdown
Split Horizon sounds really high-level.
Split Horizon with Poison Reverse
- rowhammer
- rainbow table
- global interpreter lock
- race condition (atrocity?)
- core dump
rainbow table
You win the thread. That is straight up out the old school Player’s Handbook.
Power word: Infinite Recursion
- Hypervisor
- time daemon
- privilege escalation
The Privilege Escalation hits hard
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Race condition
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Physical Layer
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Fast Fourier Transform
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COBOL
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Penetration testing
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Tiger Team
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Zombie process
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Alice, Bob and Carol (some NPCs)
A horde of COBOLs run out screaming, wielding short swords and round shields.
Everyone remembers their first monster, the COBOL!
Race condition is ranger ability after level 3, 5, 9, and 11.
The druid version is “Create Shortcut”.
Fortran!
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